So do you all remember when I took a meeting with the Hack Producer?

It was delightful.

Anyway, I noticed a blurb on AOL Fanhouse, and I was so inspired. And since I’m not a member of the WGA, I can still take a meeting!

Hooray for me sucking at screenwriting!

Anyway, I have a question for your next TV series.

WHAT IF? An entrepeneur decides that he’s going to build a bed and breakfast on grounds where horrible tragedies occured?

IT’S: PET SEMETARY meets NEWHART with a granola based dash of BUFFY.

THE STORY SO FAR: WILLIAM WALKER GRAHAM has found himself a deal. A plot of land where everything must go. A plot of land where celebrities engaged in the time honored medieval activites of Bear Baiting, Cockfighting, and Dogfighting. And the ringleader, MARCUS VICKSON, got sent to prison for it.

OH NOS! NOW I AM IN JAIL!

And after putting in money to refurbish the place, the GOOD NEWS BED AND BREAKFAST is open for business. But complications be ensuing. And these complications are in the form of annoying hippies!

STOP PROFITING OFF OF ANIMAL MURDERS!!!

But to further confuse matters, well further, one of the protestors catches Mister Graham’s fancy. She’s got that easy going hippiechick style, and she hates him. Or does she?

YES!! (At least, until sweeps…)

But strange things happen when the first guests and rubbernecks start disappearing. It seems as if there are ghosts in this bed and breakfast. And these ghosts are angry.

ANGRY BEARS ARE BAITED FOR WAR!!!

And it looks like the end for our hero! He is trapped by ghost bears and zombie dogs and he is running headlong into a pole. Klang and what not.

BUT WAIT!

STARLIGHT MENDES, the woman in question, comes charging in with weapons loaded and she saves William from the undead. The ghosts disappear for now, and there is an uneasy peace.

WHY? Because this is a sitcom that pushes paradigms, bends rules, and breaks genres. It is what you want. And the “will they?-won’t they?” sexual tension? Off the charts, baby.

Off. The. Charts.

And I shall call this…ANIMAL CRACKERZ. With a Z for the kids.

Oh, and I have that one girl from Firefly attached as Starlight.

YAY!

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Yes. I shall be taking this around to the Hollywood producers and agents and I will be getting a 13-Episode deal by the New Year. I am that good.

You’re lucky to have me readers!