The Grand National Championships

February 28, 2008

Hey! Guess what’s not going to suck this year!?

 SPORTS!

SPORTS!

Blogging: Serious Business.

Filed under: EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT! — by Andrew @ 11:47 pm
Tags:

With Apologies to 100% Injury Rate…

23:24:38Brainlesselvi77 says:

your pictures dont’ work

23:24:47I say:

YOUR PICTURES DON’T WORK

23:25:18Brainlesselvi77 says:

no..my ernest videos work

23:25:22Brainlesselvi77 says:

your pictures dont’ work

23:26:35I say:

YOUR PICTURES DON’T WORK

23:27:10Brainlesselvi77 says:

I’m telling you thye don’t work

23:27:15Brainlesselvi77 says:

don’t kill the messenger

23:27:26I say:

I

23:27:27I say:

AM

23:27:30I say:

TELLING YOU

23:27:33I say:

THAT THEY WORK

23:27:44Brainlesselvi77 says:

not for me

23:27:48Brainlesselvi77 says:

I get red x’s

23:28:06I say:

DUDE

23:28:12I say:

THEY WORK

23:28:16I say:

FOR REALS DUDE

23:28:24Brainlesselvi77 says:

they really don’t

23:28:59I say:

THEN WHY DO I RELOAD HTTP CAKE ROCKS THE PARTY DOT WORDPRESS DOT COM AND SEE SCOTTY THURMAN AND KAREEM REID

23:29:02I say:

NOT RED XS

23:30:07Brainlesselvi77 says:

because you’re speical

23:30:09Brainlesselvi77 says:

I see red x’s

23:31:20I say:

BOOO

23:31:25I say:

NEVER MIND

23:32:15Brainlesselvi77 says:

?

23:33:01I say:

FUCK YOU AND YOUR RED X

23:33:10Brainlesselvi77 says:

it’s what I still see

23:34:09Brainlesselvi77 says:

yup

23:34:10Brainlesselvi77 says:

red

23:34:12Brainlesselvi77 says:

x

23:34:29I say:

AND

23:34:31I say:

I

23:34:33I say:

SEE

23:34:38I say:

PICTURES

23:34:39I say:

YOU

23:34:42I say:

DOUCH

23:34:43I say:

E

23:34:45I say:

OF

23:34:46I say:

BAG

23:35:32Brainlesselvi77 says:

why becuase i”m telling you that other viewers will see what I see which is a red x twice

23:35:49I say:

NO

23:36:05I say:

I DON’T SEE WHY I SHOULD FIX SOMETHING THAT IS NOT BROKEN

23:36:16Brainlesselvi77 says:

because it is broken

23:36:19I say:

WHEN THE TIME COMES I WILL BARACK OBAMA THAT SHIT

23:36:31I say:

BUT THE TIME FOR CHANGE HAS NOT COME!

23:36:38Brainlesselvi77 says:

it’ll be too late

23:38:02I say:

WHY MUST YOU SPREAD THESE LIES

23:38:24I say:

SEE…LET ME HIT RELOAD

23:38:42Brainlesselvi77 says:

well I”m not spreading lies I’m trying to get a bureacracy to acknowledge that they’re putting out a product that is missing a few key components

23:39:23I say:

IS NOT BROKEN

23:39:48Brainlesselvi77 says:

if you think so,but i”m telling you it is

23:40:04I say:

AND I AM TELLING YOU IS NOT

23:40:18Brainlesselvi77 says:

well you’re wrong

23:43:05I say:

me: Dear 100% Injury Rate?
I have a problem that needs solving
100%: yes sir what’s up
me: https://cakerockstheparty.wordpress.com/2008/02/28/bubble-watch-arkansas-razorbacks/
are the pictures there
that’s all I wish to know
100%: are the pictures there?
me: yeah
are there two red x’s
or are there photos
100%: there are photos
on my comp
me: I see
my tag team partner is insistent that it is broken]
but it is not
hoora I am right

23:43:08I say:

BOOM

23:43:10I say:

BITCH

23:43:55Brainlesselvi77 says:

still the broken on my end

23:44:04I say:

still two to one for me

23:44:12I say:

100% inury rate is seeing it right

23:44:21Brainlesselvi77 says:

whatever

Bubble Watch: Arkansas Razorbacks

Arkansas will you make the final four? In the wacky uniforms with the pigs and horns?

And did I hear you say you made the bubble watch today? With the home crowd, yelling, hoo pig sooey.

Arkansas Razorbacks (18-9, 7-6)
RPI:
44
SOS: 52
vs. Top 25: 0-1
vs. Top 50: 4-3
Quality Wins: Virginia Commonwealth, @ Baylor, Mississippi State, Mississippi, Florida
Bad Losses: @ Providence, Appalachian State, South Carolina, @ Georgia, @ Alabama

The road is fucking hard. The road is fucking tough. There’s no question that, it don’t take no guff. And flat out, it is the reason why the Razorbacks are in some semblance of bubble trouble. There’s no excuse for losing to Georgia or Alabama in hoop. None.

 

Remaining Games: vs. Vanderbilt, @ Mississippi, vs. Auburn

Vanderbilt is a challenge, but they are not as unbeatable on the road. Mississippi is free-falling. And if they lose to Auburn at home they don’t deserve a berth in the big dance. Beating Vanderbilt gets them in. The other two wins aren’t enough on their own.

Final Judgements
Record: 21-11 (10-8) Out in SEC Quarterfinals
Last 12 Games: 6-6

Are they In? Yeah. But they are rather unsexy about it.

February 27, 2008

The Importance of Being Earnest!

Bunnies Vern!

YAY!  Grape Soda!

Genius.

Oh Ernest! You can steal my fries as long you don’t touch my Braum’s Chocolate Malt!

Liking Ernest is liking America!

ELVI!

Bubble Watch: West Virginia Mountaineers

We here at the Grand National Championships enjoy the athletic works that reside within the Mountaineer State. And as we continue to ease on down the road to March Madness, it is only fair that we consider adding the West Virginia Mountaineers into our bubble watching.

And so we shall…

West Virginia Mountaineers (18-8, 8-6)
RPI:
35
SOS: 45
vs. Top 25: 1-4
vs. Top 50: 2-7
Quality Wins: Marquette, Syracuse
Bad Losses: None.

Bob Huggins has this team in fine shape. A good record in a power conference. No indefensible losses. And if Marquette can beat Georgetown? That win becomes all the more signature.

 
Remaining Games: @ DePaul, @ UConn, Pittsburgh, @ St. John’s

This is a schedule built for 3-1. Don’t forget that Pittsburgh got a little bit of home cooking on their way to beating the Mountaineers on Feburary 7th. Bob Huggins won’t let them get upset either. 21-9 and 11-7 insulates them against an early round Conference Tournament upset.

Final Judgements
Record: 22-10, 12-8, Out in Round 2 of the Conference Tournament 
Last 10 Games: 8-4

Are they In? Yes.

Bubble Watch: UMass Minutemen

In the 1990’s, the Atlantic 10 was what the Missouri Valley Conference is today. The chic mid-major conference. And who was at the forefront? The UMass Minutemen. Led by John Calipari and the immortal Marcus Camby, they were the dominant force in mid-major entertainment.

Now a decade later, how are they? Let’s find out.

 

UMass Minutemen (18-9, 7-6)
RPI:
37
SOS: 43
vs. Top 25: 0-2
vs. Top 50: 2-4
Quality Wins: @ Syracuse, Rhode Island (2), @ Dayton
Bad Losses: @ St. Louis, @ Northern Iowa, Fordham

Another mid-major of inconsistent play. They can go into the Carrier Dome and take out the Orangemen, and yet the Fordham Rams can take them down at home. Only now have they righted themselves and are seeming to go on a little bit of a run.

Remaining Games: @ Richmond, LaSalle, @ George Washington
And there’s the rub. All three are more than winnable, but they have been fallen by seemingly inferior road teams. Hold serve and they end up at 21-9, 10-6. But if they lose one, it could be a deathblow.
 
Final Judgements
Record: 21-11, 10-8, Out in the 2nd round
Last 10 Games: 7-5

Are they In? If they want an at-large berth, they better not lose to George Washington or Richmond. They’ve done enough, if they hold serve.

Bubble Watch: Southern Illinois Salukis

They were long left for dead. Expected to be one of the pantheon of the mid-majors. The Salukis were one of the disappointments of the first few months of this season. But when a struggling team gets the duke vs. a highly regarded opponent, the momentum can switch in the blink of an eye.

Now? The Salukis are back in the conversation. But how far can they really go?

Southern Illinois Salukis (17-12, 11-6)
RPI:
40
SOS: 11
vs. Top 25: 1-3
vs. Top 50: 3-5
Quality Wins: Mississippi State, St. Mary’s, Drake, Creighton, Western Kentucky
Bad Losses: @ St. Louis, @ Western Michigan, @ Missouri State, @ Northern Iowa

The resume of a schizophrenic team. The non-conference schedule was rather tough and they got wounded because of it. As you can see, this is a team that has handled the cream of the mid-major crop (only an A.J. Graves buzzer beater was able to save Butler from being just another victim.) But they got handled by several teams that had no business giving them the business.

Remaining Games: Illinois State
A win here only helps. Illinois State has an RPI of 42. The game is at home. If they can win here, they would not need an MVC Tournament Championship to feel safe. If not? They will not be in as an at-large team.

Final Judgements
Record: 20-13, 14-7, Out in MVC Finals
Last 10 Games: 9-3

Are they In? If they hit my projection, absolutely. They will have five wins deemed quality in their last 12.

Here’s the one thing you need to know about Politics.

If you have achieved a certain level of fame? You will be approached to run for office. It does not matter when, it does not matter where, if you did something major. You will be approached to run for something.

The leadership in both parties? They are starfuckers like the rest of us.

This is where the election in the Missouri 9th Congressional District comes in. Republican Matt Blunt is retiring as Missouri’s governor. And the representative from the 9th, Republican Kenny Hulshof, is the man that’s handpicked to take his place.

But who takes Kenny Hulshof’s place?

That’s Brock Olivo. He was a legend in the mid-1990’s for the University of Missouri. A good player on a bad team. Also, a white running back.

This man has been tabbed as the Republican front-runner to pick up the open seat. This is not where the problem lies. Athletes have served ably in political office for several decades, and most of them have been Conservatives.

Here’s where it starts to go bad.

  • “Not only was I football player, but I also was in social studies class, and I have a passion for how this country works,” Olivo said.

Now, an excellent Civics teacher can imbue someone with the lifelong passion for politics, and the fact of the matter is you can’t really say if he’s volunteered or done some work for a campaign. After all, the rumor is that Roy Blunt courted this man personally to run for the 9th. And a Blunt is to Missouri what a Daley is to Chicago, so there has to be something to this man’s candidacy, right?

  •  “I’m a Republican for now, that’s all I can say,” Olivo said. “I believe in hard work. I believe in values, and my platform will surface in due time, and I’ll be glad to sit down with you and talk to you about that.”

The Republican platform is easy. Islamofacists? Bad. The Gays? Worse. Troops fighting Evil? Support it. Tax Cuts? Awesome.

My personal opinion does not matter on this, I can’t vote for the guy, he can be Tom Coburn Arch-Conservative for all I care. But right now, he’s nothing more than an ex-Special Teams ace in an empty suit. Oh? And about that political passion thing?

Lies.   

  • Brock Olivo wants supporters to do for him something he has never done: vote.Olivo, the former Mizzou football star now running for Congress, has never voted before in an election, public records show.

    Reached today, Olivo confirmed that he has never cast a ballot, in Missouri or anywhere else.

    “I’m a recovered apathetic,” Olivo, 31, said, adding that “I am first to admit that I was wrong.”

Apparently, he did not learn the greatest lesson of all in Social Studies class. That when you vote, you can change the world. But maybe I’m being unfair. After all, this is Brock Olivo’s first lie as a political candidate. He just might have a future in this thing.

Check him out in action. Tell me he can’t emerge as a Congressman.

February 26, 2008

Bubble Watch: Seton Hall Pirates.

If you are one who believes in weird connections, then the first bubble watch of the day comes from an inability to feed one’s family. Because that is what ended Latrell Spreewell’s career. And as we all know, he choked P.J. Carliesimo. P.J. made his bones off of a miracle run to the NCAA title game, coaching…

Yeah. Do the bull dance. Feel the flow.

Seton Hall Pirates (16-11, 6-8)
RPI:
71
SOS: 42
vs. Top 25: 1-6
vs. Top 50: 1-8
Quality Wins: Louisville
Bad Losses: @ Penn State

Bobby Gonzalez has not had continued good sex in the Big East. A five game winning streak has now been matched by a bad five game losing streak. If it was not for the healing powers of DePaul? They’d be off the bubble entirely. Bad days in Jersey.

Remaining Games: @ USF, @ St. Johns, Syracuse, Rutgers

The Good News? Beating Syracuse and holding serve means they get to 20 and 10 in the win columns. The bad news? That RPI number is not likely to be helped without some conference tournament success. Put it this way? West Virginia could end up with the exact same record, and nobody would consider Seton Hall their equal. 

Final Judgements
Record: 21-12, 11-9, Out in Round 2 of the Conference Tournament 
Last 10 Games: 6-6

Are they In? No. The Hall is voted most likely to be bounced for an at-large mid-major. Show me Drake?

February 25, 2008

Time for change.

If you watched Saturday Night Live on saturday,  and I really hope you didn’t.  Then you know that Fred Armisen played Barack Obama and it was horrible.  It was beyond horrible it was one of the worst impersonations I’ve ever seen. 

Thankfully there is a cure.  Jordan Carlos!

WATCH AND VOTE!

Elvi!

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