The Grand National Championships

September 9, 2009

So you know how it seemed odd that Oregon suspended Blount for the year?

Filed under: Douchebaggery,LaGarette Blount,Taint — by Andrew @ 12:07 am

Especially when you realize that Byron Hout got “internal punishment?” Well, E.J. Prince broke out something interesting on twitter. What, exactly, did he say, well…

@iamcutdacheck: Just talked to Jamere Holland (from Oregon WR) said that L. Blount socked dude from Boise State cuz he called him a nigger

So you have a University that has a talented but troubled running back, who has a bad game. And you’ve got some cocky dude in the doucheband saying the one thing you’re not supposed to say. Was his action justified? No. But was it understandable?

Yeah. But Oregon completely overreacted in response. It’s submarining a first round talent’s future to end his senior season like that. And especially considering that on Sportsmanship week, some dumbass from Idaho decides to rub it in. And nothing happens.

I always liked Boise State. But this sort of thing? Indefensible on all sides.

August 18, 2009

Jerry Tarkanian is right.

If you don’t recall, Tark is the man who waged a one man war against the NCAA for the better part of three decades. Put it this way, Tarkanian was the Duke family, and the NCAA was Boss Hogg. And he said something that rang true.

I’m going to paraphrase this, but essentially, the NCAA wants to keep its big programs as shining beacons of hope. However, the smallest programs get smacked upside the head for little more than a pick-up game. Don’t believe me?

Here’s the story of Southest Missouri. They’ve just been put on a three year probation. It includes three seasons of vacated wins as well as scholarship reductions. This is a strong penalty. And what’s it all for?

The committee found that the impermissible presence of men’s basketball coaching staff members during summer strength and conditioning activities and observation of out-of-season pick-up games occurred in 2006 and 2007. The committee also found that impermissible extra benefits were given to two men’s basketball
student-athletes: one in the amount of $239 for unpaid institutional fees in
August 2007, and the other when the former assistant coach drove a
student-athlete 171 miles from campus to Memphis in October 2006.

A two and a half hour drive, two hundred and thirty-nine dollars, and a pick-up game of basketball? And that kills the program for a decade. Even though the staff wasn’t forthright about it, this is still merely a missle to a bomb considering the enforcement of the sins of a program like USC (I mean, there’s still no punishment for O.J. Mayo yet?) or UConn (Nate Miles and or Ater Majok).

We all know that the NCAA is broken. I wish it wasn’t. But it is. This is just the latest instance of it.

August 5, 2009

The "Your Guy" Phenomenon…

Filed under: Fuhbawls,Quarterbackery,Taint,Vick-timized — by Andrew @ 2:21 pm

I’m going to level with you. I cannot abide what Michael Vick has done. Training animals to kill each other and all that is disgusting. But it’s a sin that he’s paid his debt to society for.

I’m not going to cheer for the man. But he deserves a chance at playing football again. Worse sinners have been allowed to see the field again. I’m not going to hit the cheer button for him. At least, I wasn’t before I started hearing the rumblings.

And it’s a deep philosophical argument. Not in the Jim Rome provocative, you’d shove Farve out of the way for Rodgers, but bring Vick in sort of way. But should I be all “thank you athletically gifted freak, thank you for coming to join my team?”

It’s obvious that he will add a dimension that the Packers haven’t had since the days of the late-90’s Super Bowl runs. And it’s obvious that the Wildcat would play a major role if the Packers decided to take the PR hit. But I honestly don’t know. It would be simple just to say don’t sign him.

But I want the Packers to win. And if Vick is my guy? So be it.

July 27, 2009

I’m not one for nuance…

But there is a difference between being turned on by someones aesthetic and objectifying them. The difference is blurry, but it’s there. Two posts ago, I set a decision to you. I put up some pictures that turned me on. You may see it exploitative, but hey. Potato pototo.

I also know that women don’t need my help defending themselves. They’re smart and have shaper tongues then your average bear of a dude. This is why (even if I’m one of the last ones to report on this) I am quite annoyed with Electronic Arts. If you don’t know about it. Feast your eyes on this. Click the thumbnail.

What this is was EA’s promotion for a game called Dante’s Inferno. It asked people to “commit acts of lust” toward booth babes. These are women who are attractive and use that attractiveness to promote various acts of of pop culture. And while the intention here was something along the lines of a photo hunt, the wording?

It does seem like an open interpretation to sexually harrass women hired by EA and other companies, let alone random attractive women who decided to come to the comic-con dressed as their favorite character. And no matter their choice of employment. It’s never okay to bring that implied invitation to the table.

So in conclusion? EA’s marketing staff is more special than the twenty-seven year old slacker who gets outworked by elderly and the mentally low. I may bring a locker room post or two, but I am only marginally dickish. Be classy. Be good and be funny, and you’ll have a better shot than just going om nom nom and honking various soft tissue humps.

I’m all over the place today. I dunno.

June 11, 2009

Hey, did you know that the NBA Referees just screwed over another non-Laker team?

Filed under: Awful Officiating.,Douchebaggery,Epic Fail,Refaliers,Taint — by Andrew @ 10:35 pm

It’s true! I’ll give you a second to process that.

Okay, now this wasn’t as egregious as previous situations (2002 Western Conference Finals, 2006 NBA Finals.) The Magic hit their free throws? It would be a 2-2 series. But they didn’t. So the game went to overtime.

But, when you have a superstar like Kobe Bryant who…shall we say, has a bit of Bruce Bowen in him?

The referees allow that to happen. He aims his elbow in the general direction of other peoples head and does not get called for it. And tonight? It allowed for a dagger to be plunged into the heart of the Magic. Jameer has to get new dental work. Pietrus will get some form of punishment, the Lakers get a tainted win.

And that’s the shame. This was a classic. At least it was until the referees stuck their head in it.

Bah. Bah I say.

May 18, 2009

I have better things to do than rail against the Happy Youngster.

Filed under: Douchebaggery,Enough already.,Taint — by Andrew @ 1:52 pm

There’s good small forwards to peep up on you. A true test of why there is no chance we can know just how Stephen Strasberg is going to do. (And I am looking at you unnamed Padre Scout saying he’s an NL-ready starter. You don’t know. Stop lying.)

But suddenly, I have a Chris Coghlan-The Happy Youngster take. And suffice it to say? There are habits that are cute, and there are habits that are annoying. This guy’s behavior? Definitely gone beyond the pale.

He’s not playing free safety for the Badgers. He’s not attacking the passing lanes like Mike Kelley. He’s an adult. He does not need a major league baseball if he’s not going to play the game. He is everything that is wrong with fandom. He is Ronnie Wickers, he is Red Sox nation, he is every fan who gives their city or a bad reputation.

You don’t wear the opposing teams colors. You don’t make diving catches for a baseball. You don’t cheat from your seats. And you don’t make Steve Bartman look good.

Man…I’m writing for writing sake here. Sorry. More to come.

May 17, 2009

You know why I had nothing to say about Manny?

Filed under: BAYSBALL!,Cheater Nation,Meh,Taint — by Andrew @ 7:44 pm

Because I’ll be honest. I didn’t care. I don’t care. Sure, way back when, my first big post was based on the cheatery of three Baltimore Orioles. But that was just because I am a whore for readers. That one person who doesn’t come here for the pictures of Bianca Beauchamp? I love you.

Anyway…why I don’t care about Steroids. Simple. My baseball team sucked for the duration of the era. As you know, the kid is a fan of your Milwaukee Brewers. And from 1988 to 2006? The Brewers were good exactly once. And you know why they were good?

Pat Listach. The 1992 American League Rookie of the year. Straight speedster. The 1992 Brewers were the team that held the record for most players with 10 or more steals. They had a game where they used 24 singles to score 22 runs. This was not a team built on two power hitters.

Maybe that’s why they fell short. But that’s neither here nor there. The team was usless for most of my childhood and the majority of my adult life. If Jeromy Burnitz or John Jaha cheated? They clearly did not cheat enough. In fact? Purely on speculation, Jeff D’Amico probably cheated at some point during the mid 1990’s. But it got them nowhere.

It’s like the aphorism. Cheaters never prosper. If the Brewers did the former, it never got them the prosper. So you know what? Meh.

(Now watch Ryan Braun test positive for lady drugs.)

May 10, 2009

The Celtics are growing Easier to Hate…

Filed under: Basketball is played by tall guys,Boston Douchebaggery,Taint — by Andrew @ 9:20 pm

Not for nothing. They still don’t have a vintage San Antonio Spurs sort of quality to their hatred just quite yet. But you have the Billionaires Bruce Bowen in Rondo. A mad King in Kevin Garnett. And lest we forget what Big Baby did tonight?

Pie facing a junior high kid? Not cool.

Okay. I get it. You substitute teach in the Junior High and you see tweens at their worst. But you’re getting an America that wants to see you lose to the Cavs in five, Celtics fan?

And as @RussBengston shows?

You’re rooting for the bad guy.

The Celtics are growing Easier to Hate…

Filed under: Basketball is played by tall guys,Boston Douchebaggery,Taint — by Andrew @ 9:20 pm

Not for nothing. They still don’t have a vintage San Antonio Spurs sort of quality to their hatred just quite yet. But you have the Billionaires Bruce Bowen in Rondo. A mad King in Kevin Garnett. And lest we forget what Big Baby did tonight?

Pie facing a junior high kid? Not cool.

Okay. I get it. You substitute teach in the Junior High and you see tweens at their worst. But you’re getting an America that wants to see you lose to the Cavs in five, Celtics fan?

And as @RussBengston shows?

You’re rooting for the bad guy.

December 16, 2008

Hey New York?

This meme that you have perpatrated about Mike Cameron being overpaid? I just wish I could pull the same shit. Why? Because it is beyond clear to even the dimmest light of the baseball literati that Mike Cameron is paid at a level commiserate to his skills.

Why? Because he is essentially Torii Hunter at 6 million dollars less money. Solid power for a center fielder. Cameron has a better eye in comparison to Hunter’s ability to hit .270. And both have defenses that a scout would still score above 70 out of 80.

Yeah, he’s not a steal at twice the price, but you get it. He’s not exactly Joey Gaithright.

Or Melky Cabrera

Yeah, I know. I’m spitting into a wind tunnel with this. But Doug Melvin should have been fired if he took a package of Melky and Igawa. I mean, a 24 year-old with three full seasons of below average baseball, and a 28 year-old 4A pitcher for a longtime consistently above-average pro at a good price?

Yeah. The Yankees are walking away from that spectacular offer. Just like I’m “walking away” from an “offer” for a Villain Girl to engage me in “sexual congress.” Good looking out New York.

Good looking out.

UPDATE: You’re killing me, Doug.

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