The Grand National Championships

September 9, 2009

So you know how it seemed odd that Oregon suspended Blount for the year?

Filed under: Douchebaggery,LaGarette Blount,Taint — by Andrew @ 12:07 am

Especially when you realize that Byron Hout got “internal punishment?” Well, E.J. Prince broke out something interesting on twitter. What, exactly, did he say, well…

@iamcutdacheck: Just talked to Jamere Holland (from Oregon WR) said that L. Blount socked dude from Boise State cuz he called him a nigger

So you have a University that has a talented but troubled running back, who has a bad game. And you’ve got some cocky dude in the doucheband saying the one thing you’re not supposed to say. Was his action justified? No. But was it understandable?

Yeah. But Oregon completely overreacted in response. It’s submarining a first round talent’s future to end his senior season like that. And especially considering that on Sportsmanship week, some dumbass from Idaho decides to rub it in. And nothing happens.

I always liked Boise State. But this sort of thing? Indefensible on all sides.

September 1, 2009

As I am a blogger…

Filed under: Douchebaggery,Political Falderol,YouTubery — by Andrew @ 11:01 am

You know the stereotype. I’m a friendless virgin living in my mom’s basement. But you know what? I want a chance to change that. I’m out of my Mom’s Basement! And I’m looking for someone who enjoys a voluminous knowledge of sports and someone who could use a better narrative.

The candidate? Lynn Jenkins! The Congressional Representative from Kansas’ 2nd District! She’s a woman looking for a great white hope! And I ask you, blogger Nation! Do I have a shot?

Watch the video…

What say you? Do I have a chance?

August 22, 2009

Oh Josh McDaniels…

You’re going to get fired. Maybe it won’t be this year. But somebody’s off to a really bad start. Like Terry Porter in Phoenix sort of a start. It’s that bad I’m making a basketball reference.

Anyway. The reason why this is sort of an interesting turn of events? This is the sort of thing that Bill Belichick did in Cleveland. It’s true. Ask your resident member of Waiting for Next Year, major stars got run off for a seemingly irrational reason. I mean, Bernie Kosar may not have had the same sort of skills as a Jay Cutler, but they both got run for an odd reason.

And you have McDaniels deciding to not let Brandon Marshall make a run for big free agent dollars. I mean, you don’t have your baby T.O. play free safetyon scout team. It makes you scratch your head. Marshall seems as if he came to camp prepared. And Matt Cassell is showing himself to be hack.

But hey. That’s okay.

August 18, 2009

Jerry Tarkanian is right.

If you don’t recall, Tark is the man who waged a one man war against the NCAA for the better part of three decades. Put it this way, Tarkanian was the Duke family, and the NCAA was Boss Hogg. And he said something that rang true.

I’m going to paraphrase this, but essentially, the NCAA wants to keep its big programs as shining beacons of hope. However, the smallest programs get smacked upside the head for little more than a pick-up game. Don’t believe me?

Here’s the story of Southest Missouri. They’ve just been put on a three year probation. It includes three seasons of vacated wins as well as scholarship reductions. This is a strong penalty. And what’s it all for?

The committee found that the impermissible presence of men’s basketball coaching staff members during summer strength and conditioning activities and observation of out-of-season pick-up games occurred in 2006 and 2007. The committee also found that impermissible extra benefits were given to two men’s basketball
student-athletes: one in the amount of $239 for unpaid institutional fees in
August 2007, and the other when the former assistant coach drove a
student-athlete 171 miles from campus to Memphis in October 2006.

A two and a half hour drive, two hundred and thirty-nine dollars, and a pick-up game of basketball? And that kills the program for a decade. Even though the staff wasn’t forthright about it, this is still merely a missle to a bomb considering the enforcement of the sins of a program like USC (I mean, there’s still no punishment for O.J. Mayo yet?) or UConn (Nate Miles and or Ater Majok).

We all know that the NCAA is broken. I wish it wasn’t. But it is. This is just the latest instance of it.

August 12, 2009

I’m not unsympathetic to Bill Castro.

I mean, it’s not as if a castoff from two organizations that were desperate for any sort of farm talent was going to be a starting pitcher that could stop any sort of bleeding.
It’s not as if a team that loses Sabathia and Sheets and replaces that with Braden Looper was going to be a recipe for pitching success.
It’s not as if Jeff Suppan’s suck wasn’t going to keep growing.
It’s not as if Chris Capuano brought anything to the table.
It’s not as if Manny Parra lost his shit.
It’s not as if all the starter issues was going to drain the bullpen of their skills.
It’s not as if he’s going to get another pitching coach job in the bigs either.

But hey, we live in a world where somebody’s got to take the fall for the slump. So Bill Castro’s gone.

What does this mean? This probably isn’t going to work like the Ned Yost September purge. Billy Hall’s been designated for assignment. J.J. Hardy is in AAA. The Mighty Mustache is scrambling. Usually when this happens, it’s too little too late.

July 29, 2009

We’re Two Days Away From the Deadline…

Filed under: Analysis,Baseball,Douchebaggery,Trader Drew's Trading Post — by Andrew @ 6:53 pm

And while some of the big dominoes still have room to fall, we have to discuss where we are, right? Who’s won, who’s lost, and who’s yet to make a stand.

Who’s won?

Philadelphia: They’ve acquired Cliff Lee and a great 4th outfielder in Ben Fransisco and they did not have to give up any of the pieces that stopped them from committing to Roy Halladay. Now I like Carrasco, and Marson has great hitting potential, but they were able to keep Michael Taylor and J.A. Happ as well as Kyle Drabek. It’s the piece they needed, and they didn’t have to give up anything.

Cleveland: At present, they’ve infused themselves with seven top ten prospects from three pretty good systems. Jason Knapp is in A-Ball and Jason Donald has pretty well sucked this year, but for a guy that was going to get squeezed out and a guy they couldn’t afford? They got a B+ worth of value. And when you add in the two power relievers they got for DeRosa and Scott Barnes, an already good system gets better. They may be waiting for next year, but there’s hope in Cleveland.

Who’s lost?

San Fransisco: Long term, my gut says they’ve made a huge terrible mistake. Not to say that the offense they have won’t get better because of Ryan Garko and Freddy Sanchez, but come on. Tim Alderson is kicking ass in Double-A and Scott Barnes looks like he’s going to be goods. And is it that going to be that big of an upgrade over Travis Ishikawa and Eugenio Velez? No. Brian Sabean is such an idiot.

Somewhere in the Middle?

Seattle: I’d lean toward this being a loss. If you’re going to move to a sell, you need to start playing your prospects. I mean, Ryan Langerhans is a bad stopgap. A real bad one. To keep Langerhans and dump Wladimir Balentin for a junkball reliever? Bad sauce.

And cosidering the Mariners catching situation, I would be baffled by dealing Jeff Clement. But Ian Snell was the best player in the deal by far. I mean, Jack Wilson sucks, but the Pirates are paying some salary. And odds are one of the three pitchers the Pirates will get there? But they are bottom third prospects in a bad organization. My money’s on Brett Lorin.

And Dan Cortes is bound to find the plate eventually, right?

Pittsburgh: Getting Lastings Milledge? Good. Getting Tim Alderson? Good. The Ian Snell trade? Meh. They have no room for Jeff Clement. And outside of Lorin? There’s nobody that interests me. So, B-.

July 27, 2009

I’m not one for nuance…

But there is a difference between being turned on by someones aesthetic and objectifying them. The difference is blurry, but it’s there. Two posts ago, I set a decision to you. I put up some pictures that turned me on. You may see it exploitative, but hey. Potato pototo.

I also know that women don’t need my help defending themselves. They’re smart and have shaper tongues then your average bear of a dude. This is why (even if I’m one of the last ones to report on this) I am quite annoyed with Electronic Arts. If you don’t know about it. Feast your eyes on this. Click the thumbnail.

What this is was EA’s promotion for a game called Dante’s Inferno. It asked people to “commit acts of lust” toward booth babes. These are women who are attractive and use that attractiveness to promote various acts of of pop culture. And while the intention here was something along the lines of a photo hunt, the wording?

It does seem like an open interpretation to sexually harrass women hired by EA and other companies, let alone random attractive women who decided to come to the comic-con dressed as their favorite character. And no matter their choice of employment. It’s never okay to bring that implied invitation to the table.

So in conclusion? EA’s marketing staff is more special than the twenty-seven year old slacker who gets outworked by elderly and the mentally low. I may bring a locker room post or two, but I am only marginally dickish. Be classy. Be good and be funny, and you’ll have a better shot than just going om nom nom and honking various soft tissue humps.

I’m all over the place today. I dunno.

June 11, 2009

Hey, did you know that the NBA Referees just screwed over another non-Laker team?

Filed under: Awful Officiating.,Douchebaggery,Epic Fail,Refaliers,Taint — by Andrew @ 10:35 pm

It’s true! I’ll give you a second to process that.

Okay, now this wasn’t as egregious as previous situations (2002 Western Conference Finals, 2006 NBA Finals.) The Magic hit their free throws? It would be a 2-2 series. But they didn’t. So the game went to overtime.

But, when you have a superstar like Kobe Bryant who…shall we say, has a bit of Bruce Bowen in him?

The referees allow that to happen. He aims his elbow in the general direction of other peoples head and does not get called for it. And tonight? It allowed for a dagger to be plunged into the heart of the Magic. Jameer has to get new dental work. Pietrus will get some form of punishment, the Lakers get a tainted win.

And that’s the shame. This was a classic. At least it was until the referees stuck their head in it.

Bah. Bah I say.

The 19 Interesting NBA Free Agents…

I know better know. Basketball rankings in terms of NBA Hoop is just something I cannot do. So you know what? There’s going to be 19 players I’m going to list. No particular order. Why? Because I’m starting with Mike Bibby. He’s not #1 at anything.

Mike Bibby: (Bibby is the sort of guy who can fall through the tracks. His last contract was back when he was a stellar lead guard. Now? He’s a better than average starter. Who may not have a team in August.)
Zaza Pachulia: (You want a stealth energy guy to get you 8 boards a game on the low post who will be cheaper than Marcin Gortat? You go get Magilla Gorilla here.)
Ben Gordon: (He’s going to have to go to a team that doesn’t know what it’s doing. Why? Because he’s Vinnie Johnson skilled, with a starters mentality.)
Jason Kidd: (Because he is at once a great teammate and a horrible person.)
Allen Iverson: (It’s decision time. Do you want to be the man or do you want to win the title? Because you’re going to have to be a 6th man to do it.)
Rasheed Wallace: (His presence reenforces the culture of a team. A team with good intangibles gets better with Sheed. But if the culutre breaks bad? So will he.)
Ron Artest: (Come on. We know why.)
Lamar Odom: The jack of all trades with the most childlike of all vices. If he ever gets off Vitamin S? He’s gonna be more than a rich man’s Tim Thomas.)
Ramon Sessions: (How often do you get a 23 year old starter with excellent distributorial skills who will likely hit the market?)
Charlie Villanueva: (He’s 24 and already threatening 17-8. You get the next contract, and you have a shot at a nice run of 20-10.)
Hedo Turkugolu: (He was always a very nice point forward. But with his performance in this playoffs? He’s going to make bank. Some team’s gonna love him. Unless he keeps with the Turkish Nick Anderson.)
Andre Miller: (Sure, he’s past 30. But he’s an excellent distributor and he’s an iron man. He saved Philly last season.)
Drew Gooden: (Frontcourt Bibby.)
Shawn Marion: (The most underrated 15 million dollar man in hoops. Still gets many boards. Still defends like an ace. Sill can score 15-20 in a game.)
Mehmet Okur: (He’s a great shooter. In fact? Let’s call him low post Turkogulu.)
Carlos Boozer: (Because he’s injury prone. And kind of lazy. He’s going to Elton Brand the team that signs him.)
Paul Millsap: (He is the brawny Paper towel guy. He’s what DeJuan Blair wishes he would be.)
Anderson Varejao: (Not to belabor the point? But 6 million dollars was left on the table. He’s not even going to come close. He’s losing millions.)
Kobe Bryant: (With Andrew Bynum becoming an albatross, and 52 million being spent on 3 guys, plus either Ariza or Odom going if he stays? There is a better than you think chance he may opt out. He’s still a dick, we’ve just kind of accepted it.)

Yes. More on Game 4. Which I hate the NBA for making me miss part of Norm McDonald and Jim Gaffigan.

May 18, 2009

I have better things to do than rail against the Happy Youngster.

Filed under: Douchebaggery,Enough already.,Taint — by Andrew @ 1:52 pm

There’s good small forwards to peep up on you. A true test of why there is no chance we can know just how Stephen Strasberg is going to do. (And I am looking at you unnamed Padre Scout saying he’s an NL-ready starter. You don’t know. Stop lying.)

But suddenly, I have a Chris Coghlan-The Happy Youngster take. And suffice it to say? There are habits that are cute, and there are habits that are annoying. This guy’s behavior? Definitely gone beyond the pale.

He’s not playing free safety for the Badgers. He’s not attacking the passing lanes like Mike Kelley. He’s an adult. He does not need a major league baseball if he’s not going to play the game. He is everything that is wrong with fandom. He is Ronnie Wickers, he is Red Sox nation, he is every fan who gives their city or a bad reputation.

You don’t wear the opposing teams colors. You don’t make diving catches for a baseball. You don’t cheat from your seats. And you don’t make Steve Bartman look good.

Man…I’m writing for writing sake here. Sorry. More to come.

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