The Grand National Championships

January 31, 2010

The Big 12 Knowledge Master Open.

Filed under: Basketball is played by tall guys — by Andrew @ 11:36 am

After last nights two quality match-ups (Kansas-Kansas State and Baylor-Texas) there are two undeniable truths. Quality basketball is played here, and the officiating can make the NBA’s refs look tremendous. If you ask me to break it down team by team. And considering you’re here, you are? It would go something like this.

1. Kansas (They may not have the professional level talent of a Kentucky, but this is a well-coached team that can go into their rivals house and withstand their best punch. And K-State is the sort of team that matches up very well against rock chalk. They’ve got a deep run in them.)
2. Texas (I’ve always maintained that Rick Barnes is a terrible coach in terms of in-game preparations. Kansas State’s loss was based on poor transition defense. Baylor was based on their big weakness (free throws) and UConn was just a total defensive breakdown. The Oklahoma swing can heal the bump in the road.)
3. Missouri (If their 3’s are falling? They can beat anybody. But this years team struggles if they have to work the ball inside in a half court set. Keep them under 70 and you have them.)
4. Kansas State (Abandon all hope ye who dare attack the basket. They will hurt you for such insolence. Their rep can hurt them. But that being said? Dig their upcoming schedule (@ Nebraska, @ Iowa State, Colorado, Nebraska, @ Oklahoma, @ Texas Tech) If they don’t win 5 games? Something’s gone wrong.)
5. Texas A&M (A paradox. They are a great team at drawing fouls, but a poor team from the line. They have left their fair share of three the hard way upon the table. And if we’re talking schedule? Two versus Baylor, a trip to Missouri, and Texas and Kansas coming to visit means we could be talking Aggies when it comes to the bubble.)
6. Oklahoma State (You would think that a Travis Ford coached team would make its bones on its work from beyond the arc. This season you would be wrong. They’re barely above 33 percent from beyond the arc. It’s the tag team of Marshall Moses and Matt Pilgrim that are doing work.)
7. Baylor (I know that they are currently in 7th place in the Big 12, but using the Wisconsin approved method of two quality experienced guards in LaceDarius Dunn and Tweety Carter and the breakout post play in Ekpe Udoh? They’ll climb the ladder.)
8. Oklahoma (I would say that Blake Griffin has had more of an adverse affect than originally thought. But think about it like this. If you knew you had Blake Griffin stalking the low post, you’d defend your perimeter guy a little harder than originally thought, right? I only ask because they are getting murdered from beyond the arc.)
9. Iowa State (They were never good enough defensively to find their way into winning even with the sharpshooting of Lucca Staiger. But since he’s bollocksed off back to Germany? They may not even make the lesser antilles of postseason tournaments.)
10. Texas Tech (Mediocre in every aspect outside of limiting second chance baskets. Roberson-Singletary is a nice offensive combination. But they’re not as offensively strong as they were last year. And that is why they are still here.)
11. Colorado (Kind of like Iowa State in terms of their offense/defense skill level. Their offense is actually pretty good. Alec Burks has been a Freshman sensation. But their defense is beyond terrible. Killed on the glass. Killed down low. They also foul a lot.)
12. Nebraska (Actually not as bad as their record would seem to be. I mean they’re not great at getting second chance baskets or from the line, but they’re not terrible at anything else. And they can rival Missouri in terms of steals and threes. Seems more like luck than skill.)

January 29, 2010

A very early assessment of what I’d like from the Packers.

Filed under: Boring Homerism,Bornalysis,Double T,Fuhbawls — by Andrew @ 1:26 pm

This is the sort of scenario that you’d love because the Packers have a window of opportunity that is wide open. The weaknesses are glaring, but we have a draft that’s widely regarded to be a better draft in terms of quantity than what we had last year. And I think Double T has a chance to keep this team at Super Bowl contention.

1) Bruce Campbell OT-Maryland

In the first Round, I do expect the Packers to shop smart and go after someone to fulfill the left tackle position. What does Campbell bring to the table? Great athleticism for one thing. A killer combine and I can wave goodbye to this dream. Also, he played much of the year with turf toe. His run game skills are imperfect, but he definitely can fit in a passing league. Groovy.

2) Dominique Franks CB-Oklahoma

This is the sort of guy who would learn how he can attain full Al Harris from being tutored by Al Harris. He’s a physical press corner who was a shutdown corner in the Big 12 South. He’s fundamentally sound, but he has the hands that turn interceptions to deflections. But for a second round pick? Great value.

3) Antonio Coleman DE-Auburn

We had hoped that Aaron Kampman could convert to a 3-4 Linebacker. It didn’t work. Brad Jones basically was a better fit last season on little more than raw talent. It’s honestly unknown how Coleman would do in pass coverage, but he’s spent three seasons living in SEC backfields. He’s got a high motor and a sweet array of pass rush moves. Put him opposite of Clay Matthews. I am literally smiling as I type that.

4) Larry Asante SS-Nebraska

With both safeties as Free Agents, why not take a flyer on a guy who compares favorably to Louis Delmas? He is a killer in the back half of the secondary. Killshots for anybody who would dare cross his path. And in run support? This strong safety is like an extra linebacker. He’s not a playmaker vis a vis picks and deflections. But he won’t be embarrassed.

5) James Starks RB-Buffalo

If James Starks had a good 2009, he would have been in contention to be a second round pick. Instead? The draft question is wholly combine dependent after he injured his shoulder and missed the season. It’s a shame really, because this kid is gifted. High production, above average speed and good strength. He can pass catch as well. (2nd in catches for the Bulls as a Freshman, 300 yards in receptions as a Soph).

6) Ryan Perriloux QB-Jacksonville State

Okay, remember this is what I’d like from the Packers. And I’d like a developmental quarterback. Granted, like when I said I kind of wanted Bernard Scott last year, the ex-LSU QB is odds on going to be a Bengal. But no quarterback has the Physical gifts of Perriloux. I’d be fine with Dan LeFevour or Tim Hiller or some random dude. But I’d take a home run swing here.

7) John Estes C-Hawaii

The Packers have a nice guard prospect in T.J. Lang and beyond that? Not much. John Estes isn’t super-powerful but he’s with good technique and a great motor. He won’t quit on a run play by any stretch. But he can lose his leverage if he has to maintain his fit. So yeah.

Now a scenario where Ted Thompson turns the third pick into a 4 and two 6’s isn’t out of the realm of possibility. And last year he shocked the world when he traded up for Clay Matthews. So I guess what I’m trying to say is the total number of picks will in no way be seven.

January 28, 2010

Inglett and Edmonds.

While the dreams of Frank Inglett and Tom Edmonds becoming a modern day Loggins and Messina reside in the ashbin of their Pooh Corner cover? The Brewers have smoothly made some attempts at filling out their roster with excellent skills at low costs.

Joe Inglett has been a solid righty masher (for a middle infielder) who’s served time at four positions, even though he really can only defend three. A career line of .298/.351/.407 versus righties is a valuable asset to have. I know he’s already in his early 30’s, so this may be the exact ceiling of his usage. But here’s the deal.

He’s Weeks insurance. We know that he’s not going to play nearly as much on the roster if Weeks can manage to get himself 500 at-bats. And to get a low cost asset to use mostly at second base as good as Inglett in back up terms? It’s not a bad thing, it is most definitely a good thing.

Now, in the Wildcard category? We have Jim Edmonds comeback attempt. The guy spent 2009 in the unwanted bin of Free Agency. One would assume that he demanded to roam Center Field or a multi-year deal and no team really wanted to have to deal with all that. Because his 2008 was great as a Cub, but you know what else?

He was unlucky. For the year, his BAbip was a ridiculously low .249. But even as a Cub, when it seemed as if he was hooked up to a juvenation machine? His BAbip was .257.

But that’s not where Edmonds makes his money. Where Edmonds makes his money is as a righty masher. He had a .998 OPS versus righties as a Cub. So yeah. That’s where last we left him. Put it simply, if he’s useful, all he has to do is slug .500 as a Brewer versus right handed pitchers.

And get 400-450 plate appearances.

But lets be honest. If Corey Hart was actually able to be trusted? I wouldn’t be nearly as excited by the signing of a 39 year-old who skipped 2009.

January 26, 2010

A Paul Shirley take…

Filed under: EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT! — by Andrew @ 8:58 pm

Now I’m not going to get on my soapbox and start yelling about how Paul Shirley asked Haiti to maybe use a condom once in a while. He writes in a hyperbolic style and when the jokes go bad? They crater.

But you know what my problem is? The premise of the article is fundamentally flawed. Throughout history, we find ourselves in scenarios where few people oppress many. And when a society gets beaten down by dictator after dictator after dictator? You find yourself willing to stand for a lot more indignities than you originally thought.

It’s not a problem if you don’t want to donate. It’s not a problem if you want to rail against the “if you don’t donate to Haiti, we’ll keep signing telethon.” But come on man, do homework on your main idea if you’re going out and play at being a political pundit.

January 25, 2010

That 80’s Show: Searching for an Exit.

Filed under: That 80's Show,TV PARTY TONIGHT — by Andrew @ 11:51 am

Three episodes to go on this 2002 failed sitcom, and here are certain things I’ve learned about this. The transition of Sophia from a randomly predatory bisexual to someone working at RT’s firm? Good. Katie going lighter on the Valley Girl timbre? Also good. RT in general? The best part of the show.

The show? Still just barely watchable. It’s like most television. You could see it getting better. But is it worth it? Usually no. You could give it 4 seasons and it wouldn’t be worth your time.

And this was really a paint by numbers show anyway. They took the That 70’s show archetypes and switched them up for the main characters. I mean, how’s this for an example.

Corey = Eric
Katie = Laura
Sophia = Jackie
Tuesday = Hyde
Roger = Fez
RT = Kelso

So you know what? This show got what was deserved. Dennis went off to do better things, and the rest aren’t exactly starving for work. So yeah. Moving on.

January 24, 2010

1st Super Bowl Instincts?

Filed under: EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT! — by Andrew @ 11:48 pm

The Saints love to Blitz. Peyton Manning is genetrically built to blitz beat.

Garcon will score more TD’s than Thomas.

Take the Over. And also don’t be surprised if the Saints are a one-score dog at kickoff.

I’m too tired to properly mock that final drive. I’m also too tired to post anywhere else. See y’all tomorrow.


Filed under: Championship Week,I'm Not Ready For The Football! — by Andrew @ 12:38 pm

The Colts crushed the Ravens. And if they can do that to the Ravens, they have enough to do that to the Jets, and if the Jets have to pass? F-u-c-k Fucked. Fucked. Fucked.

But I’m rooting for a quarantined Zombie Apocalypse.

In the NFC Championship game, one of the most underrated aspects of the Saints is their offensive line. And while the Vikings can generate a pass rush? The Saints just have too much.

Not to say that Favre wouldn’t get 28-31 points? Just that the Saints are coming. And they’re gonna get to 40. And if they win the Super Bowl?

New Orelans will magically be healed! Huzzah!

January 23, 2010

That 80’s Show Part Three

Filed under: That 80's Show,TV PARTY TONIGHT — by Andrew @ 9:04 am

I don’t know why I’m still doing this. We’ve established that this show is not brilliant but cancelled. In fact? We’ve established the fact the show is batting .250 in terms of watchability.

But since I promised that we were going down this road? We continue.

“A Friend Dies,” here’s the basic plot. An acquaintance of the gang who wears shiny pants dies. Another one of your basic TV plots. It is what it is. But knowing the magnificent bastardy of Dennis Reynolds? Having Chyler Leigh complain about Glenn Howerton being such a boyscout is retroactively hilarious.

In “Spring Break ’84” it’s another basic sitcom trope. Tinsley Grimes’ credit card has been maxed out! Oh no! So there’s an overwrought plot about how she hides out in Rogers apartment. And Tuesday and Corey finally decided to go on a date and there’s the fact Roger can’t stay on the couch. That was a chuckleworthy running joke for 80’s Fez.

I didn’t exactly hate “Katie’s Birthday” but I did realize something. Dennis and Tuesday did not have great chemistry. The rule that if there must be a whoo in the laugh track the story must suck. And the sad thing? The teased relationship between RT and Margaret actually had chemistry.

So we’re at 3 for 8 in watchability. 5 episodes to go and I can exorcise the demons from my iPod.

While you’re at it? You want my take on the Grant Desme scenario? Of course you do.

January 21, 2010


Now I know I was talking noise about the whole Doug Davis signing. I said that they needed Jarrod Washburn to form a lefthanded innings eating Voltron, right? But that was initial reaction. Doug Davis is a good soild #3/#4 guy.

Think about it like this. In context of recent Brewers starter signings? Dougie D. is a cheaper pickup than Braden Looper. And if you consider the ERA+ of Doug Davis in recent years? You actually get someone who can give you 25-30 good starts a year for a little over 5 million dollars.

Also, we know that Doug is a pitcher who can get wild. He’s averaged a walk every two innings in recent seasons. The fact that he’s managed to be a solid pitcher despite this glaring weakness only tells me one thing. If he can shave his BB/9 down simply to 4 walks for 9 innings? He will likely be an under 4 era starter. And considering what the Brewers had last year? Even if he’s not a sexy signing, he’s a real live upgrade.

With the offense that the Brewers generally have? Doug Davis could be 13-9 with a 3.80 ERA. For five and a quarter million dollars. Initial reaction? B+.

I like it. I like it a lot.

That 80’s Show: Episodes 2-4

Filed under: That 80's Show,TV PARTY TONIGHT — by Andrew @ 6:10 am

I’ll level with you. I wasn’t really a fan of that 70’s Show, so this would be a more harshly graded scenario. If I keep this up. But suffice it to say? This show would not fall under the designation of brilliant but cancelled.

Episode 2, a.k.a. Valentines Day? Simple sitcom trope. A box of chocolates find their way to the record store? And record store lady says that Tuesday sent it to Corey. But she also said Corey sent it to Tuesday! ZOMG Hilarity ensues. Or not. B Plot? Owen is on leave from the Navy, and Tinsley Grimes is his girl. But…circumstances won’t allow them to have sex! OH NOOOOOOO! D.

Episode 3, a.k.a. Tuesday Comes Over? So Brittany Daniel is still doing that whole, sexual harrassement is funny if its girl on girl thing. Which really isn’t. No matter what the laugh track tries to tell you. But that’s more for the next episode. This episode, she sells the dad a hot tub. And Tuesday’s living in her car! So Tinsley Grimes finds out and offers her a hot shower and laundry. But Corey lives at home! OH NO! Seems he lied about it. But hey. He finds Liberty Spikes hot.

Episode 4, a.k.a. Corey’s Remix? Not as bad as the first three. As you can tell, I’ve been reviewing these based on the things that I think sucked? And in this one? Not so much with that whole suck thing. Still not great, but I’ve spent worse 21-22 minutes in my life. Oh wait. There is one thing. The whole it’s not a payphone it’s a portable phone guy? THAT JOKE GOT PAID THE FUCK OFF! WHOO!

Now, since we know that this whole show is something less than brilliant but cancelled, here’s where we’re going to go. Could this show have hit its stride with a little bit of tenderness. Or was the DENNIS system treatment the right idea?

Join me won’t you?

Next Page »

Create a free website or blog at