As I lay diabetic.

Gather round kids,  the end times are fast approaching. 

The winner of this year’s NCAA Tournament is:

The Kansas Jayhawks!

Why?  well it’s easy.  They’re so under the radar that even Siena thinks they’re nobody.  So they easily won the big 12 conference, they only beat a Kevin Durantless Texas.  After all, if Wisconsin can beat them, they must suck, right?  Yes……and NO!  I mean everyone knows that Kansas doesn’t have a breakout freshman like their in-state rival Kansas State (Micheal Beasley for those not in the know). 

But lo, Kansas does have a weapon.  There is something that is stronger than a powerhouse freshman.  That is Mario Chalmers; better known as Superintendent ( or Super-nintendo) Chalmers

Steamed Hams huh?

One weapon is never enough.  You always need back-up…wingmen, if you will.  Thankfully Kansas has two grade A wingmen in Brandon Rush and Darrell Arthur.  These titans of cockblocking will ensure that you end up with the one you call and that one will sexxor the fat chick.

 But really, when it comes down to it; players don’t really matter when it comes to Kansas winning the NCAA tournament.  It all boils down to good luck and karma.  Kansas has gooey jumbo sized tubs of good karma in the transfatty goodness that is Mark Mangino!

Mark Mangino is the fat guy in a little coat.   When Mangino does the truffle shuffle, the Amish in Lancaster,PA know their crops will be bountiful.  Mark Mangino brought Kansas Football into actual relevance this past year, and he will ensure with each greasy bite of his corndog of justice that the Jayhawks will be the victors in this year’s NCAA tournament.

Learn it, know it, live it.

ELVI!