Poker Player’s America’s Role Models: Absolute Poker are Cheaterpants

You may not know the website Absolute Poker. But you’ve seen their commercials. I’m sure you have. They are the poker site that doesn’t go with ugly, ugly poker players.

Hey! It’s a pretty girl! And she’s doing stuff! Let’s all get our money and go here! Yeah!

Well, apparently you should have sprung for the superuser account. Rumor had it that a known poker player like Mark Seif has sprung for the superuser account. But that was more conjecture on this matter. But a man like Michael Josem has been on the forefront of this matter.

But the fact of the matter is, they have Serinda Swan. They have name recognition. And while Michael Josem is doing some excellent investigative reporting, he may not have been visible enough. That is, until they screwed up.

Why? They sent a person who lost a 1k tournament the hand history of every persons cards. And the winner? Suffice it to say he was making some “creative” plays.

It has always been a niggling suspicion of peoples that online poker was rigged, much like your NBA Basketball and your boxing. And the thing of it is, it probably won’t matter. Poker players are degenerates. Some will be desperate enough to steal. Some are desperate enough for the superuser account. And Absolute, while they should absolutely be sunk by this, you will see Serinda Swan on your television soon enough.

Ah well, those of you looking for pretty girls doin’ stuff will sufficently be warned.

I done did my job.