I wasted Today…

Yeah. Bad day. Started bad.
Stayed that way.

You want to know something remarkable?

Bud Selig hasn’t been an awful comissioner. He hasn’t been great. But considering some of the winners who were baseball comissioners? You could argue that he’s in the Top 3.

Really. You want to say Spike Eckert or Happy Chandler is ahead of him? You would be wrong. That being said?

This latest idea? Ridiculous.

Okay, here’s the thing. Those who love baseball know about the majestry of the Negro Leagues. Josh Gibson was the greatest power hitter that you’ve never heard of. Satchel Paige was a mystical creature of both baseball and age-defying protein powder. Cool Papa Bell was the single greatest force for good in baseball history.

And having teams mock draft Negro Leage Superstars destroys that. Having the Tampa Bay Rays draft Josh Gibson means nothing to extend the knowledge of the baseball fan. 

“OOH! A POWER HITTING CATCHER WE’RE NOT REALLY GONNA GET! AWESOME!” 

Don’t believe me? Ask yourself this.

If they say that the Minnesota Twins drafted Willie Wells. Would a Twins fan give a shit? If the Dodgers signed Ted Radcliffe? Would the Dodger fan give a shit?

No. They wouldn’t. This doesn’t even have the symbolic value of an all-time team. 

You want to have the Negro Leagues honored? Easy. You want to market the great African-Americans of Today’s game? Even easier.

I have a two birds with one stone pitch for Major League Baseball. It’s a free one.

You have your modern day African-American player. Let’s say for this example…

Jimmy Rollins.

And it would be Jimmy. Simply staring into a camera, holding a picture of Willie Wells.

And then he gives us a quick 25 second synopsis on Mr. Wells.

“Willie Wells was nicknamed El Diablo for his trademark intensity. A great all around player, he had a career .328 average and was absolutely masterful with the glove. He taught Jackie Robinson the art of the double play and played 18 seasons in the Negro Leagues. But do you know what he’s best known for?”

Jimmy Rollins taps his batting helmet.

“Willie Wells was the first ever to use a batting helmet.”

And then you flash the MLB logo. And then the slogan.

“These are our heroes.”

It’s a freebie, MLB. It’s a freebie.

But Let’s Be Honest…

Obama’s not rid of Hillary. While she may be running what some non-existent tag team partners would deftly call the “Eight Belles” portion of her campaign. There are things that a Democratic Candidate needs to win that Hillary Clinton has. And if you’re thinking that that’s why this campaign has lasted over a year? You get a sticker!

PLUM FANTASTIC!

For you see? What does Hillary have that may not go to Barack Obama?

WE LOVE POLITICS AS USUAL!

Thus? We may ask ourselves. Where do we go from here? Do we really ask her to get behind Obama and become the Vice President? Now she might say yes.

But is she looking for a co-presidency? You can’t say for sure.

But does Obama go for one of his supporters (and Bill Richardson would be too perfect to make sense), or off on some wacky tangent (a.k.a. hey Lincoln Chaffee can we has unity)? Perhaps. Though if you decide to go your own way, you do need to balance the ticket. Kathleen Seibelus or Tom Vilsack would be an awful choice for the VP.

I have two names. They’re just a little bit off the beaten path. They may not be the most obvious choices, but trust in them. They feed the need for a balanced ticket.

1. Ed Rendell (Governor-Pennsylvania)

Yes, Ed Rendell rolled up on us with a statement that there’s some white people who were just not going to vote for Barack. But you know what? They’ll vote for Rendell to be a heartbeat away the presidency. (I’ll let the Blogosphere make their own jokes here…)

But honestly, he’s the Blue Collar guy. He’s a moderate. He’s folksy. And he’s very media-polished. An Obama-Rendell ticket would be made of victory.

2. General Wesley Clark (He’s a retired 4-star general)

Some of you may not remember him. Let’s put it this way. He was the Fred Thompson of 2004. He came into the campaign with a great deal of hype and fell on his face with Epic Fail. But while his politics may not have changed, his television polish absolutely has. He knows how to present himself.

His flaw? Well, I’m sure there is one. No candidate is the perfect storm. Especially for Vice President.

But if you add a Clinton surrogate? Hillary will fight for you. And you know what else? 

It’s good to have the politically dirty on your side.  

Back. To. Sports.

You may want to keep one ear to the ground on the Mainstream Media

You may have heard that Barack Obama took down North Carolina. It was supposed to be a game-changer for Hillary. And yet? Mr. Obama won by fourteen.

And all night in Indiana, Obama’s been chipping away. 18’s become 16. 14’s become 12. He’s been hanging around, as Teddy KGB would say. The Kid’s got alligator blood.

But why pay attention? Lake County has no votes reported. Lake County is the home of one Gary, Indiana. Consider two things.

1. Obama has been trending at over 90% amongst African-Americans.
2. Lake County has over 487k people.

I don’t know the exact demographic breakdown. But with this and LaPorte County, which is next to three Obama, a lead of less than 40,000 votes could disappear in an instant. And if even if he doesn’t pull the sweep? It’s a big night.

But if he does?

IT’S A TRAP REPUBLICANS!

UPDATE: Never mind. Flip to your mainstream media at 12 AM EDT.

UPDATE II (ELECTRIC BOOGALOO): Obama’s got it down to 19,970 votes!

UPDATE III: Hillary’s cancelled her morning show appearances. Could mean nothing. But…

UPDATE IV: You know who Obama owes for getting to this point?

He is the gift that keeps on giving.

UPDATE V: If the Gary numbers project out, Obama wins.

UPDATE VI: 95% in, General Ackbar’s down by 16,609.

UPDATE VII: NBC just reported that Hillary Clinton is holding no public events tomorrow. We’d earlier reported that she’d cancelled her morning show appearances. But that’s not that surprising. There’s not a lot good to talk about. But canceling all public appearances, if that’s what they’re saying, is a different story.

UPDATE VIII: Chuck Todd and Murray.

BROTHERS FROM A DIFFERENT MOTHER!

UPDATE IX: So maybe we should disregard the TV Appearances, eh?

UPDATE X: 22,000 Votes may drag this out for two weeks. Hillary won. But she lost all the momentum.

Good game America.

So…Ronnie Woo-Woo Wickers.

Really?

Defend this, Cub fan.

Hey, we’ve all seen that Seinfeld Episode where George is in competition with a doppleganger for a ladyfriend?

Because you know what? It’s a lot like the battle between new media and old media.

Sure, most of those on both sides are the suavest of motherfuckers. But let’s be honest. There’s a lot of bad on both sides. Buzz Bissinger’s most salient point is not without its merit.

Whereas the Joe Average mainstream media loves salacious bullshit, Joe Average blogger loves to mock. And lest you think me a hypocrite, I will fully disclose mockery for the sake of mockery here, here, and the post below this one.

Sorry Poopfist.

But you know what? Outside of some poor West Virginia Power intern getting yelled at? We’re untilmately harmless. We’re not gonna be anywhere near the Blogfrica illuminati, and when we are actually so inclined?

Never mind. We’re never so inclined.

But honestly. We are them and they are us. Mostly harmless, mostly not trying to engage in the politics of personal destruction. And yet?

We’ll throw stones at the wrong targets. We’re bloddy idiots, those who talk in text form.

America? We have our next great metal act!

Forget Sabbath. Forget Zepplin. Forget Dethklok.

I have one word for you America.

Poopfist.

You’re damn right America! These kids are ready for DESTRUCITY!

So I was thinking…

Are the Brewers and the Tigers too smart to deal their guys they don’t want anymore for each other?

I mean. You know the Brewers. They’ve got a guy who throws hard and struggles to find the plate in the man that’s known as Derrick Turnbow.

He’s been designated for assignment.

And look at the Tigers. They’ve got a guy who can play all three outfield positions, be the lefthanded bat of reasonable offensive capability, and be a 4th Outfielder for great justice. Even if his 20 homer power may be gone, he’s got a nice base of skills.

He is Jacque Jones. He’s also designated for assignment.

These two teams need to trade these players to each other. Why? The Tigers need all the help they can get in the bullpen. Turnbow is worth a 250k flier to find out if he can be salvageable. The Brewers need a lefthanded bat of reasonable skill who can show versatility. Jacque Jones is worth a shot.

And I know what you’re saying Brewer fan. Don’t they have the Two-ny Gwynn? Mike Cameron? Joe Dillon? Yes.

But here’s the thing. The Brewers need chits. And if the Brewers have a competent level of veterandom in Double J? Maybe they can package Two-Ny, Mat Gamel, and a PTBNL for Chris Young.

And then, my friends? MY TEAM IS NOT DEAD.

SI SE PUEDE! YES WE CAN! 

 

The Brewer Fan’s Lament in 7 words.

Shoulda been you Gagne, shoulda been you.

I know I am a casual hoop fan.

But Josh Smith is awesome. Josh Smith is a god among men. But you know what?

He’s gonna let me down. Joe Johnson’s gonna let me down. I’m used to Mike Bibby letting me down.

I mean, do you think David Stern would let the decent core of ATLANTA beat the three superstars of BOSTON? What, you’re gonna say that the better team finally established their dominace with their backs to the wall?

Please. This sport is faker than Pro Wrestling. Boston’s a better story, and asshole fans are better than no fans whatsoever. Say the Hawks re-up Josh Smith, do you think they’ll even sell out a game? Nope.

Vince McStern has to have his stars how he wants them.