Packers Head versus heart…

I like the Packers. You know this. It’s my homerism. It’s my blessing. It’s your curse.

But what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna see if I can’t get into Ted Thompson’s head and look at draft possibilities. I probably can’t, so I’ll tell you what I’d do.

Quarterbacks: I think there can be a pretty good flier taken on Day 2. You know that I absolutely love Andre Woodson and Josh Johnson. And even if they take a veteran like Daunte Culpepper. You can see them going super deep and taking a guy like Bernard Morris as a 3rd QB/Paul Thompson type. Remember, Ingle Martin was drafted on measureables.

Running Backs: Oddly enough? I can see Ted drafting a runner early. I know, they have Ryan Grant. But remember, Ted Thompson likes the best player available. And if a Felix Jones or a Jonathan Stewart is available at 30 in a league where the two-back offenses are growing like weeds? Ted would be stupid not to pass on him.

Receivers: I wouldn’t expect one taken before the late rounds. They have 4 receivers that have shown something, and Koren Robinson has the potential to be somebody. They may take a flier on someone with return game potential.  

Tight End: Expect one early. Donald Lee came out of nowhere to be awesome. And they do like Tory Humphrey’s potential. But they will try and get one in in the middle rounds. I think they may get past the top few, but maybe a Kellen Davis as a Jermichael Finley.

Offensive Line: Expect one early and one in the middle rounds. Clifton and Tauscher are fine players, but they’re on the wrong side of 30. And in my opinion, Tony Moll is servicable, but no heir apparent. At guard? They need another body to put into the race of Barbre, Colledge, Coston and Spitz. Remember the name Mackenzy Bernadeau. It is an awesome name.

Defensive Line: They’re deep here, even with dealing Corey Williams. They probably aren’t going to go with a defensive tackle even with the Corey Williams trade. However, when Cliff Avril becomes the best rush end available, the Packers could be looking for a cheaper bit of pass rush. 

Linebacker: Put it this way, if there was an excellent strong side linebacker with coverage skills? They’d go early. But there isn’t. If the Packers draft a linebacker early, they’re likely drafting a backup. Brandy Popillar is going to have to be the Celebrity Hook-Up Nickname Generator Strong Side Linebacker.

Cornerback: They need one and they need one early. If Al Harris or Charles Woodson get hurt for an extended period of time? The Packers are right fucked. They could possibly trade out of the first round and still come out with an excellent press-zone cornerback. There is good cornerback depth, so even though this may be the biggest need, Ted may take a breath and see about a Tyvon Branch a little later in the draft.

Safety: I wouldn’t expect one early. Bigby, Collins and Rouse are all decent NFL starters, and there is no real gamechanger available. They may just OFA a special teamer here.

Special Teams: They may add some sort of value to a player who could contribute in the return game. They’ll bring in a OFA Punter.

I’m already engaging in a Mock Draft exercize in futility, so I’m not going to say anything here. Just remember, best player available. I still say if Stewart or Jones are available at 30, the Packers are gonna two-back.

Thanks.

Go long and I’ll Fake it to ya! A Wide Receiver Draft Knowledge Mini (Part 10)

This years receiver class is kind of weak. There’s depth to be had in the second and third rounds. But the big guns of this years draft? They have been epic fails in this new year. But still? There’s a lot of neat options.

AFTER THE JUMP!

The Grand National Interview: Marvelous Matt Fraction.

Matt Fraction is a man with the ability to bend your mind. From his creator owned books “The Five Fists of Science” and “Casanova” to his current runs on “The Immortal Iron Fist” and “Punisher: War Journal” to upcoming runs on “The Invincible Iron Man” and “Uncanny X-Men,” whether with Ed Brubaker or by himself, Matt Fraction is giving you some of the best stories in comics.  

And luckily, Matt was nice enough to take time out of his busy schedule, to answer some questions about his works, Hollywood, the Chicago Cubs, Mr. Belvedere, and the craziest very special episode you ever won’t see.

And you’ve got to respect a man who’s been photographed sporting such a rockin’ beard.   

The questions begin…AFTER THE JUMP!

Do you wish for an ability to drop Draft Knowledge? (Part 1)

We are helpful people at The Grand National Championships. We like you. And when you’re gonna watch the NFL Draft on the last weekend in April? You’re gonna want to know stuff. I will bring you the stuff to know.

Elvi Patterson can hate me now, but I won’t stop now.

Let me tell you all you need to know about the quarterback class.

There are five that should go on Day 1. That you know. But did you know that if you wish to know where the sleeper goes, all you need to do is look inside an [Anchorman Reference]?

(Heh. Heh. Heh.)

The Magnificient Seven (Quarterbacks)

1. Matt Ryan (QB-Boston College)
6’4″ 223 4.95

There are some whom would compare him to Joe Montana. There are some whom would compare him to Tom Brady. Hell, Pro Football Weekly would even throw in Peyton Manning. Wrong. All of you are wrong.

His arm is not laser, and he will let you down going deep. He can manage the game well, but his vertical game blows. Out and out shitty.

Not to say he won’t have real world value in 2009, it’s just that you aught to temper your hopes, guy.

But being Drew Brees means you know how to learn the Carlton Dance!

WHY Matt Ryan is the next Drew Brees? He will struggle mightily for the first few years with a bad offensive line.

2. Brian Brohm (QB-Louisville)
6’4″ 224 4.82

 

Brian Brohm has lived a sheltered life at Louisville. A spread offense guaranteed to put up numbers for any quarterback? Two brothers as coaches? His daddy as a constant presence? Even though he was injury prone, the fix was in for him to succeed.

I know, I’m being mean. He does have a laser arm. He does have on-field football smarts. He’s not fast, but he’s not a statue in the pocket. Leadership is not a strong suit, however.

WHYhe will be the next Brady Quinn? His intangibles are questionable, his arm is not that great, and if the Ravens fall in love with a cornerback? He will lose millions on draft day.

3. Joe Flacco (QB-Delaware)
6’6″ 236 4.85

 

Kerry Collins had a passing camp in South Jersey. It crossed paths with a computer camp. Theirs was a love that could not last. Fortunately, Kerry does not believe in sexual congress with condoms. Nine months later, Ms. Flacco’s baby boy was born.

Don’t believe me? Think this story libelous? Well, how about we explain that Flacco is a statuesque laser, rocket-armed quarterback who is not great under pressure and has a drinking problem*?

He’s only going to be good as his coaching and supporting cast.

WHY he may be the next Matt Schaub? He’s going to be drafted as some teams back-up in the second round, have a good game versus the Patriots, and be rumored to get dealt for two years hence. 

*The Mileage on Joe Flacco’s drinking problem may vary.

4. Chad Henne (QB-Michigan)
6’2″ 230 4.94

Being as my friend Elvi lives in Michigan, he is inundated with hype from Ann Arbor. He is sick of Chad Henne. In that way? He’s like your average Michigan fan.

But like anything that can be much-maligned, the fact of the matter is that Henne brings more to the table than you think. He throws hard, he plays hurt, and he has played well in big games not involving Ohio State. However, he is inaccurate and like the bastard child of Kerry Collins, when the line breaks down Henne cannot stand and deliver. The devil he may take ya.

WHY he may never be a full-time starter? He has a lot of bad habits that would only be correctable by good coaching. And do you know what’s the most translatable skill of a quarterback from college to the pros? Accuracy.

5. Andre’ Woodson (QB-Kentucky)
6’4″ 229 4.88

 

Let it be said that we will make an effort to speak upon him fairly. We love his style and his ability to come up big in the biggest of games. He is poor in throwing technique. He would need to land with a team that has a swanky quarterback coach to polish the rough edges. He was not great in the all-star games.

But that being said, the man is a gunslinger. He brought them back versus three teams in the Top 15 and stood toe to toe with the son of Jor-El. And while some dream of him as a Jason Campbell or a David Garrard, if everything breaks right? (And I do mean every damn thing?)

 

WHY I just might not be crazy? A 2nd round graded quarterback who can move around from a southern school who can bring his marginally talented team back against powerhouses? He’s got the heart and the balls.

These are your day one quarterbacks in terms of value. Sure, an Erik Ainge or John David Booty may sneak in if some team has a grade for them, but they’re backup value at best (Ainge more than Booty). But in Day 2 the only city that bears an interest?

San Diego!

Day 2 Sleepers

A. Josh Johnson  (QB-San Diego)
6’2″ 213 4.55

 

There’s an impetus to find upside in your quarterback. Josh Johnson is the best and brightest. He destroyed competition in the Division 1-AA (FCS, whatever) with a 43-1 TD-INT ratio. And get this? His throwing style isn’t raw either! He may not be used to the speed of the pro game, but he’s not just some spread option sucker.

He played under a pro-style offense in San Diego. Jim Harbaugh was his sensei.

But there is some dark clouds in this ray of sunshine. He’s not one of the 6’5″ 240 sized types of quarterbacks, it means he may get launched. And he may never settle into his happy feet. But the fact of the matter? If Throwing Into Traffic wants to talk about what dreams may come? Talk up Josh Johnson.

WHY he might be drafted on Day 1? You remember Tavaris Jackson? Josh Johnson is the Platinum Edition of Tavaris.

B. Kevin O’Connell (QB-San Diego State)
6’5″ 225 4.64

He may not be the one, but Kevin O’ Connell [a.k.a. Cush] sure is the prototype. Strong arm with good accuracy, good footwork along with timed speed, and he has pretty good accuracy. And his sensei is a strong molder of quarterbacks. Chuck Long made Kevin O’Connell a prospect. Chuck Long made Kevin O’Connell blossom in the most heterosexual way possible.

And yet? The man can’t stay healthy. The man could not destroy a mid-major conference even with Chuck Long’s Mr. Miyagi-style.  He can lose the plate every so often and he will not stand tall and true. He is not the gunslinger you are looking for.

WHY won’t he be another Dan McGwire? He’s agile and mobile. That and he doesn’t juice. He is not going to be a bust.

That’s it. About 1200 words in regards to your fine quarterback prospects. Yeah. This was a bit of an effort. Woot and what not.

The NL West throws up it’s rock fist.

I like the NL West a lot. They are the Manic Pop Thrill of all the divisions. I firmly believe that if ESPN actually paid any level of attention beyond the Boston/New York/North Carolina Tri-Bourough Sports Bridge, they would find out just how awesome this division is.

But they don’t, so it’s up to your meshuggenah sports blogger to play sufficient hypeman for the NL West. The NL West is straight up Metal. Really. There are four teams you could see winning the division.

And thusly? The Grand National Championships Proudly Present…

Bang Your Head: A National League West (Day Late and Dollar Short) Preview

5) The San Fransisco Giants are Vader

It’s a nihilistic time to be a Giants fan, an old team that’s pretty much Lincecum and Cain and pray for Bloody Rain. Aaron Rowand was the big splash in Free Agency, and they overpaid for a man Skip Bayless would call a gritty Randy Winn. This is the team voted most likely to lose 110 games this year. There is nothing coming down the horizon. All they can do is work the Tremolo and play their little hearts out. Godspeed Giants, Godspeed.

4) The Los Angeles Dodgers are Black Sabbath

A long time ago, Nomar, Jason Schmidt, Jeff Kent, and Rafael Furcal rocked the party that rocked the body. Jeff Kent was indeed Iron Man and what not. But there is going to be a problem in Dodgertown. They have a lot of youth that’s ready to go wild at Chavez Ravine, but they are being blocked by the bloated, dessicated corpses of once great superstars.

With Andruw Jones as Ronnie James Dio

OH, WHAT’S BECOMING OF ME? 

3) The Colorado Rockies are Limozeen

The Rockies were a nice piece of novelty, going to the World Series with little more than Matt Holliday, Troy Tulowitzki, the heart of a Lion and the Wings of a Bat (Because it’s Midnight). But here’s the thing about novelty acts, they ususally cannot come up with good sequels. Frankly, only Weird Al Yankovic has had enough staying power to make his way into dynasty. And let’s just put it this way, like Piratecore, Tay Zonday, Yakoff Smirnoff, and the Homestar Runner, the Colorado Rockies won’t have near enough for an encore.

2) The San Diego Padres are Metallica

Not the modern day sellout “Some Kind of Monster” Metallica. These guys are the old school, Cliff Burton dead in a horrific accident let’s fuck with the new guy “And Justice For All” Metallica. They’re right angry and ready to unleash their “One” upon the world. In this analogy? Peavy is Hetfield, Maddux is Ulrich, and Chris Young is Kirk Hammett. Sadly, the offense is the Napster that will leave them short of their appointed goal. (Though Chase Headley’s going to play Jason Newsted sooner than you think.)  

Poor sucker.

1) The Arizona Diamondbacks are Nine Inch Nails

This team is the most pop metal sensation in the NL West. But we aren’t looking at the elder statesmen of the Industrial thrash scene version. This is the team built for the 1989-1994 Pretty Hate Machine to The Downward Spiral Era of Rocking. It is a fusion of strong pitching (Brandon Webb, Dan Haren, and a bullpen skilled enough to fade trading Jose Valverde) and multi-skilled offense (Their outfield could all threaten 30-30 again).

That, and Mark Reynolds and Randy Johnson are as horrifying as anything you could see in the video for Closer.  

  
HOT!

That’s your baseball in a nutshell for the season. A little comedy, a little cinema, a little hot women, a little bit o’soup, a little manic pop thrill, and a little bit of metal.

This season’s gonna be awesome.

GO BASEBALL!

Hey Brewers Fan?

Do you have faith in Zach Jackson? Do you have hope for him?

Because while I may have said that Seth McClung has an excellent chance of closing games for the Brewers, I will guarantee that Zach will have a great chance of taking the mound for a game that matters. And judging by an MLE 5.69 ERA, 1.68 WHIP, and almost four walks per 9 innings? This shall not bode well.

But how did we get to the point where we have to put our faith in a “monster?”

Starting Pitching Depth is a misnomer.

At the end of last season, the Milwaukee Brewers were in great shape in the rotation. They had 7 starters whom have delivered in some way shape or form last season, and Manny Parra is a lefthanded starter with elite potentials. Sure, it would have been cool if they could have flipped a starter for a decent prospect. But, 8 starters man, it’s a good thing.

Sure, Ben Sheets could very well be nothing more than a mere Mark Prior wannabe in terms of his Dugout portrayal, and Parra is not in love with throwing over 100 innings, but that still leaves 6 valid starters, right?

Nope.

Chris Capuano tore yet another elbow ligament. He needs Tommy John surgery. Yovani Gallardo has a knee injury, that is something that can affect a pitcher’s style very easily.

And now the Brewers up and released Claudio Vargas. Yeah, he is pretty much made of meh. However? Meh as a pitcher is a skill in and of itself. And where does that leave the Brewers rotation?

1. Sheets (Talented when healthy, but he won’t last the season)
2. Gallardo (Pitcher with a bad knee. He will be a wee bit of a question mark.)
3. Parra (If you want him to stay healthy? He can’t pitch more than 130 IP.)
4. Bush (The man is skilled, but he’s wildly inconsistent. I still think he’d be a lot more awesome in the bullpen.)
5. Suppan (The Platinum version of Claudio Vargas.)
6. Villanueva (Pretty good. You need a good set-up man, long man or end of the rotation guy? New House is your man.)

But if you expect Sheets and Parra to miss some time? Who is the man you’ll expect to fill the slot?

CHRIS NARVESON! YEAH!

Or how about we put it this way. Chris Narveson is a man who was once very much like Manny Parra in that he was able to bring it with power. Sadly, he has also brought it like Parra in that he was unable to stay healthy. But unlike Parra, he was unable to come out the other side near to the level where he once was. (If you search out his minor league career? You’ll see that he’s added about two walks per nine innings.)

Also? He’s still injury prone like Ben Sheets.

And you know what that means? We are back to do. 

Or Zach Jackson. This is going to hurt the Brewers in the end. 

(Though, I expect the Brewers to sign a Durbin.)  

Movies are Fun, you guys. (An AL East Preview)

I like Movies! I like Danny Mothers, but I like movies more! I give movies a 6 out of seven! Yay!

We are looking at feature films, theories, and other movie things as…your AL East

5) The Baltimore Orioles ARE Doomsday

This team has been fighting infection. Mediocre mutates to bad. Bad mutates to mediocre. Superstars become comic book parodies. Heroes disappear. Only one person can save the city. Adam “not Pacman” Jones. Only he can fight the infected. Only he can change the world.

With Peter Angelos as “This is OUR city!” Guy. 

THIS IS OUR CITY!

4) The Toronto Blue Jays are Never Back Down

There seems to be a veritable buttload of institutional flaws within the system of the Toronto Blue Jays. Poor drafting, bad free agent signings, and Doug Melvin has engaged several instances of small scale pwnage. The Blue Jays need a young firebrand who’s angry at the world to shake things up as well as a wise mentor type to channel his anger. Sadly, while David Eckstein has a value as a “NEVER BACK DOWN!” mentor, Adam Lind is nowhere near the firebrand that the Blue Jays need to change the game in the AL East.

3) The Tampa Bay Rays are Juno

They seem revolutionary, but they’re really not. Although dropping the Devil is like dropping the fact that the screenwriter is a stripper, being a “surprising indie coming of age tale” is a lot like being “the new bandwagon” in baseball. It’s all been done before. Even if the fantasy baseball nerd among us can name the entire Ray lineup (Dioner Navarro, Carlos Pena, Akinori Iwamura, Jason Bartlett, Evan Longoria, Carl Crawfird, B.J. Upton, Jonny Gomes, and opening day starter Scott Kazmir). Even if there will be some amazing performances. Even if that dude who broke the Yankee catchers wrist is as hardcore as Ellen Page in Hard Candy, the backlash is going to happen. It will be swift. It will be violent. I drink Rocco Baldelli’s milkshake.

2) The New York Yankees are Will Ferrell.

They have been a dominant force. Funny or Die meets Murderers Row. Anchorman meets the 1998 Yankees. But after the collapse of both Bewitched and the 2004 Yankees in the ALCS, both the Yankees and Will Ferrell have gone stale. The Yankees kept buying old men and useless. Will kept with the sports movies. But this year the Yankees stood strong, and will have an infusion of a full year of Joba Chamberlain and Phillip Hughes as well as Ian Kennedy to bolster the pitching staff. Will Ferrell has a buddy comedy with John C. Reilly. They have intrigue this year. 

1) The Boston Red Sox are Auteur Theory

In 2004, David Ortiz changed the axis of baseball, and it was good. Much like Francois Truffaut changing the axis of film. However, the backlash has returned, and the backlash is strong. Sure, they do keep infusing themselves with prospects and reclamation projects (Jacoby Ellsbury and Bartolo Colon). But to hold the Red Sox as dominant baseball team as a good thing is much like saying the auteur theory can hold weight with the creators of Meet the Spartans falling under the auteur designation. With Theo Epstein as Andrew Sarris, and Manny Ramirez as Alfred Hitcock.

MANNY BEING GOOOOOD EVENING…

That’s your AL East. In 30 foot technicolor. God love it.

Here’s the thing about changes of pace.

They are the scariest sorts of things to your various bodies of internet celebrities. Why, look at a random sports blogger in Feburary and see how bad it can be if you try to swim against the grain of pace changing. Now, there was an e-mail in all of our in-boxes today. It was an e-mail of hype. It was an e-mail from one of our previous interview subjects.

It was Team Awesome Rocks. They made a new trailer. It holds none of the 8-Bit whimsy of their previous efforts. It was a change of pace.

And it was really quite good. But after I put up the link so you can bask in a curveball for great justice, I need one question answered.

I drink your milkshake, what’s so funny there?  It seems like it would not be.

If you have seen it, learn me why it’s comedic plz.

K thx bye.

We like Comedy (An AL Central Preview)

By now you have seen a wailing and gnashing of teeth in regards to the Yankees putting forth a contract to once-funny comedian Billy Crystal. Because clearly, 60 year-olds are good at playing funny baseball games.

But that does not mean that other comedians would not be valid additions to your favorite major league baseball teams in the AL Central. Not by a longshot. And we at The Grand National Championships would love to tell you whom would be best.

So we will.

5) The Kansas City Royals sign: Jim Gaffigan

While his burly build and work on My Boys are obvious weaknesses, Jim Gaffigan does not need to bring the crutches of a comedian to be a man of great humor. For the fine folks of Kansas City, there is nothing more interesting than a force of nature. Jim Gaffigan can be that, nay will be that Pale Force. Jose Guillen best be stepping aside. Jim Gaffigan fills his victims full of remorse.

4) The Chicago White Sox sign: Brian Regan

He may not mesh well with the leadership of the Chicago White Sox, but the fact of the matter is, within the confines of the 25-man roster, Brian Regan is a perfect fit. His clean-cut comedy is perfect for Josh Fields to feel edgy. His manic energy is perfect to stand with Jim Thome. And his love of fig newtons?

Nick Swisher loves himself the Fig Newtons. I mean, durr.

3) The Minnesota Twins sign: Brody Stevens

I was going to give you a comparison to Chris Rock in that the window of opportunity for the Twins closing is much like a stand-up finding complacency. But forget all that. The Twins need a laser rocket arm. And as comedians go, Brody Stevens is best.

‘

Hey, he couldn’t be any worse than Sidney Ponson.

2) The Cleveland Indians Sign: Zack Galifinakis

Now, you would think that musical talent would not be an effective addition for any team, you would be wrong. Garth Brooks got signed with the Padres and then they made the World Series. Galifinakis would bring much the same skill to the Indians. His comedy would make Joe Borowski consistent and the outfield awesome. It would put them over the top.

That, and his snuggling would make Andy Marte a great prospect again. Galifinakis would snuggle you back to health.

1) The Detroit Tigers sign Patton Oswalt

Patton Oswalt may not be the most physically gifted comic out there, but he does present a tiny strike zone target. Miguel Cabrera would love him, because then he would have a willing tag team partner for the KFC Gravy Bowls. Dontrelle Willis would love him, because the chuckles would help trade his brain after a bad start with the brain of a great start. He may not solve the bullpen problems, but he would put the Tigers over the top.

Yes. This is how I roll. I will be back with new news. Or News.

Later skaters.

Fantasy Baseball Breakout Candidacy: 20 Sides of Justice!

 

Now, it is the dark and dour nights of the sports blogosphere. No baseball. Basketball still does not matter no matter how hard I effort. And we cannot give a motherflippin’ flip about the autos going vroom in a circle.

So, being helpful joes at wheatever we’re calling ourselves today, we are going to give advice for the fantasy baseball player. Everybody knows about Pujols and Johan. Everybody loves Braun and 100 Grand. But the question is, who’s next? Who is going to be the next great fantasy baseball Superstar?

Read on good madams and sirs, read on.

 

Rickie Weeks =  A Lawful Good Elf Thief

Strength: 13 
Dexterity: 17
Constitution: 13
Intelligence: 12
Charisma: 16
Wisdom: 9

A second baseman for the Milwaukee Brewers, in his halcyon pre-draft days, he was going to be the next Joe Morgan. But when Rickie made the big leagues, he was cast asunder by a heart that’s larger than his brain and a lack of quality Clerics on the Brewers training staff. Finally healthy and questing with a talented, veteran team, look for Rickie to go wild.

RYAN BRAUN IS NOT A GREAT CLERIC!

Mike Jacobs =  A Neutral Evil Ogre Fighter

Strength: 16 
Dexterity: 4
Constitution: 14
Intelligence: 8
Charisma: 12
Wisdom: 5

An ogre from New York, Mike has been underleveled for the past couple of years. But if you are looking for some cheap late round power, Mike Jacobs is your huckleberry. He swings the bat with thunder. He crushes southpaws. He is an experienced level 26. Take a last round flyer. You won’t be disappointed.

Dennis Sarfate =  A Lawful Evil Blood Ranger

Strength: 16 
Dexterity: 3
Constitution: 14
Intelligence: 6
Charisma: 16
Wisdom: 6

There are some who say that he is an angry dog-like creature. There are some who say George Sherill is your closer. But even if he will eat humans guts for breakfast, there is a big issue with Sherill. He’s a lefty. Lefties don’t close. In an open competition for the bullpen, lefties do have a strike against them. And Sarfate has a monster fastball and a good slider. He has 18 months of moster pitching in him. He is the next Derrick Turnbow.

Daisuke Matsuzaka =  A Chaotic Good Halfling Dwarf

Strength: 16 
Dexterity: 12
Constitution: 14
Intelligence: 14
Charisma: 10
Wisdom: 13

The Japanese Dontrelle Willis, Daisuke Matsuzaka had a great start to 2007, but he ended up hitting a wall in the second half. Expect accurate healing, good dominance. The Gyroball is going to be good for 16-18 wins and 200 K’s. Daisuke will absorb Schillings load.

Here are four names you need to know right now. Remember them. Grab Dick-K by the 6th Round, Weeks by the 12th, Jacobs in the last, and store Dennis Sarfate in the memory backs.

He will tear out your throat if you don’t.

YAY! GRANT MORRISON JOKE!