The Grand National Championships

March 8, 2009

The Grand National Championships Guide to Karaoke Survival…

Filed under: EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT! — by Andrew @ 10:42 am

Now, Elvi is the more hipsterish of us. He would not be caught dead in a Karaoke Bar. And while we're starting to give each other shit about hipster v. liking everything debate, you're lucky that I'm on the frontlines of the not being cool and liking everything. So if you ever find yourself in a bar and drunk enough to get onstage, these three songs are your pick to click.

Tom Jones by It’s Not Unusual

Because let's be honest, any song that you can do in the style of a smarmy lounge lizard is a song that you can karaoke the shit out of. True story. In my senior year of High School which I like to call it my contract year considering how I've lived my life before or since. I was able to lounge lizard my way into second place in a karaoke contest. If ever you find yourself in a bar and you're forced to sing for your life? I say go for it.

Ice, Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice

Because if you're going to be cheezy you have to go all the way. I mean, most people won't have John Cena's theme song where the entire chorus John Cena keeps rhyming now with now, so you have to rock to a classic. And you at least know the first two lines of this, you can get something rolling right?

Stop, collaborate and listen, Ice is back with a brand new edition? That's all you need. You're on the rails. The geeky cute girl is yours. Cue credits.

Michael Jackson by Beat It

I know. Insert joke here, right? But it's the perfect karaoke song. Something you kind of know. Something that has a break for you to thrash about punk-rock style during the Eddie Van Halen solo, because that is both fun as well as good exercise. And it's not a slow song. Slow songs require talent. Speed and Enthusiasm is good for both shortstops and karaoke singing. It makes up for a lot of mistakes.

You're welcome!

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