The Grand National Championships

January 22, 2009

Five things the Oscars did wrong.

Filed under: Douchebaggery,I LIKE MOVIES! — by Andrew @ 11:18 am

Okay, here’s the thing. I like movies. I do. Movies are awesome. (I have watched five movies since Friday and may get to 8 by the end of the week.)

But as awesome as I find the Movies. I find award season hack. And seeing as the Oscar nominations came out? I get to bitch. I like bitching. It can be my reason to live.

1) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button gets 13 Nominations?

The movie put me to sleep. Not just figuratively either. It was a bad movie that indulged Fincher at his very worst. Sure, give it all the Makeup awards you want. Costumes too. But this gets best picture and best direction? Bad academy voters.

2) Ignoring the greatest movie in the genre’s history.

Sure, Heath Ledger got himself best supporting actor nominations, that went without saying. But to say The Dark Knight was lesser than a movie where the strength was Kate Winslet letting the twins go free on multiple occasions? Christopher Nolan needed a nomination. And so too the Dark Knight. Eckhart was great, but Ledger was going to win it. They get David Hare to write the dull movies.

3) Josh Brolin’s gonna have to get nothing and like it.

Two of the strongest performances of the year and he’ll get nothing for either of them. He made a bad movie entirely watchable with his performance. He deserved a dual nod. I know that it would have bounced the awesome charatcer actor Richard Jenkins or the Best Actor in the category of Dreamy Brad Pitt, but Brolin killed it this year. Who would have thought he was going to be the strongest of the Actors who came from the 1980’s classic the Goonies?

4) In Bruges is not going to win Best Original Screenplay.

Because that’s exactly what it was. The Oscars will probably short shift Milk as the best Indie they didn’t want to give a big award too. It happened with Pulp Fiction. It happened with Lost in Translation. It will happen here.

5) Harvey Weinstein is going to buy the Oscars again.

I know I bitched about it earlier, but some more deserving person (Hell, I’ll even put Opie as best director) is going to lose out because a Jabba the Hut looking motherfucker is going to buy this award.

Three quick projections?

1. Anne Hathaway will get denied best Actress because of Bride Wars
2. The Wrestler gets nothing.
3. Danny Boyle will suddenly be blocked for a movie to direct.

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