The Grand National Championships

January 10, 2009

The Divisional Playoffs As a Hillary Duff Movie?

Filed under: Analysis,Fuhbawls,Lady Marmalard,Quarterbackery — by Andrew @ 12:10 am

Well, it could happen. Like the inexplicable turn from cute girl next door to attractive your starlet. We could see A Cinderella Story Developing.

Good god. I owe you an apology for that one.

alba Pictures, Images and Photos
Baltimore vs. Tennessee

I also owe you an apology for this. If you do read this blog, I have to tell you. I’m changigng my mind. I love Baltimore’s defense. I do. I know the Ravens are eating simple offenses alive. And stylistically? It is a Frank Miller movie with a steadying hand.

But with a weeks rest? The Titans can be as ball-punchingly fierce as an English crime movie. Albert Haynesworth wants to star in Get Flacco. I see Chris Johnson breaking one. I see a field goal. I see that overcoming Ed Reed in good field position. 10-7 or some such nonsense.

Heath Ledger as The Joker Pictures, Images and Photos
Arizona vs. Carolina

You want to know how Arizona got these scars? DeAngelo Williams. I know strange can happen on Saturday Night. But we can feel good about this. This is like Sinbad in Necessary Roughness. Carolina will get wild. Carolina will get loose. Carolina will…

Sinbad Pictures, Images and Photos
Par-tay.

Iron Man! Pictures, Images and Photos
Philadelphia vs. New York

New York. It’s like Iron Man versus the Indian parody of Iron Man. McNabb isn’t exactly a front man for Iron Mans, but Brandon Jacobs. He’s Iron Man, the War Machine, and Force Works rolled into one.

He saw what Darren Sproles did with his opportunity last week. He wants to make millions and millions as a free agent. He’s looking for a new team. Glory will come.

hillary duff Pictures, Images and Photos
San Diego vs. Pittsburgh

Ben Roethlisberger’s head is stuck in a Michel Gondry film. And while I believe in the divinity of the Byron Leftwich, the Chargers defense is developing a certain swagger. And like the man who was sick of Ben Stiller’s shit? There’s a certain Tropic Thunder developing.

And with a bad track in Pittsburgh? Their strengths are further mitigated. So? We can see a 17-14 sort of a game, where Phillip Rivers takes this team and haves them roll on his retarded looking face. He is after all, Hillary Duff in this analogy.

Wait, I’m confused…

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