The Grand National Championships

November 13, 2008

10 Mysteries that will haunt me.

Filed under: BAYSBALL!,Douchebaggery,Fuhbawls,STUPID YOU AM SO STUPID,Taint — by Andrew @ 6:59 pm

I have things that I want to ask. Hypotheticals and rhetoricals. I am perplexed by things. I need to bring them out into the ether. If they get answered? Awesome.

If not, that’s okay too?

1. If you’re the University of Clemson and you have James Davis and C.J. Spiller in your backfield, why would you have them go this deep into the season without 200 combined carries?

2. Alaska, what the fuck? They’re felons. FELONS!

3. Why does ESPN try and tout the Trojans as a national title contender? It is not going to happen. Never. Ever.

4. If W. was made with a director who didn’t have his head up his ass, would it be awesome?

5. Will CC Sabathia get 175 million dollars over six years?

6. Can I have some of Frank Miller’s drugs? For someone who was such good friends with Will Eisner in life, how did he make a tribute movie so shitty in death?

7. Will America have their own Ewa Sonnet?

8. The folks at the Dugout need their own Instant Message Book Deal? They need to be the Chuck Todd of Baseball Book Deals, am I right? Joey Votto’s mom would approve.

9. Robert Wagner as Mr. Wilson? I am aghast! Aghast!

10. I believe in Rashad Jennings. He blows Peter Alima away in terms of Liberty’s greatest athlete. Am I making this up?

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