The Grand National Championships

October 24, 2008

30 Teams in 30 Hours!!! Milwaukee Bucks

Were will I start? My home team. The mixture of Bench Olympians, Scott Skiles, and a Kansas City Royalsesque inability not to blow-up the team as necessary. I mean it. Living on the off 7th seed is the equivalent of drunk fat and stupid.

The Coach? Scott Skiles. Fuck him. He’s analog on a digital team.

The Team Itself.

Joe Alexander: Quite Frankly? Joe Alexander is going to be a bust.
Malik Allen: Will inexplicably start over Charlie Villanueva.
Charlie Bell: Burned by the Mid Level Exception.
Andrew Bogut: Will average a triple double. The third category? The self high-five!
Fransisco Elson: The Dutch Anderson Varejao.
Matt Frieje: Voted most likely to be inexplicably awesome in April.
Dan Gadzuric: The Dutch Jerome James.
Adrian Griffin: Defense and shitty.
Richard Jefferson: Will suffer his season living alone in the Pfister with dignity.
Damon Jones: Will suffer a mysterious mitochondrial issue…until he comes off the cap.
Tyronn Lue: Will inexplicably make Ramon Sessions a third point guard.
Luc Richard Mbah A Moute: Will go off into the D-League and play defense. Will cause sharp pains in the saide of Bucks fan if and when CDR and Bill Walker show their skills.
Michael Redd: At once overrated and underrated. If he learns how to play second banana? He’ll rise like a phoenix for Jesus.
Luke Ridnour: Reminds Skiles of Skiles. He will drive and kick until he bleeds.
Ramon Sessions: The Ramon Sessions was a second round guard with excellent distributorial upside. Skiles is gonna fuck that up.
Charlie Villanueva: How can we sleep when the beds are burning?

So what do we expect? Same shit, different year. They miss the playoffs and draft Tyler Hansbrough.

Awesome.

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