The Grand National Championships

August 28, 2008

I love Football.

Filed under: Fuhbawls,Jeremy Maclin is my present college football Jesus — by Andrew @ 1:23 am

College Football especially. It rocks the party that rocks the body. Now, any of you loyalists know my last great WordPress post was in reference to reasons why you should love every team in college football. And yes, it is still cogent to the proceedings.

But that was for everybody, with the switch in providers and advertisements I am feeling a little more selfish in this day and age. This is for things I’m fired up about. The Grand National Championships proudly present…

The Ten things I am fired up for in college football.

1) Lou Holtz.

Yeah. Lou Holtz. His pep talks are a melange of avant garde bebop and a reminder of what once was at the Worldwide Leader. And now that college football is back? I can be entertained by a doddering old man.

Lee Corso never filled that void for me. Sadly.

2) Jeremy Maclin

Last year, as I was watching college football more and more, I found myself enjoying the works of Andre Woodson with a great regularity. But he graduated. Sands through the hourglass and whatnot.

So, in looking to bestow upon a new magician program for the game of college football, I have to go to Columbia. Not for Chase Daniel, even though he is awesome. Jeremy Maclin is my pick to click.

He shall hit home runs and it shall be good.

3) The inexplicably bad non-conference match-up!

Some of you may find these to be nothing more than irrelevant jokes. Not me. These are where we get to see the future of teams…today! You might look upon a West Virginia-Villanova matchup with scorn and derision. I look at it as a way to see if Jarrett Brown can be the heir apparent.

And of course, after last year, everybody’s going to be agog to see if a big school can’t get chopped down by a FBS squad. Fact is? Unless you’re at the level of a Minnesota? I wouldn’t worry. Appy State isn’t gonna break off a piece of Les Miles.

4) The Tim Tebow Photo!


5) New Rivalries!

Sure, we all know that the SEC is fierce. We all know Michigan and Ohio State roll up on each other like Boo, motherfucker! But you know what? That’s not the whole story. Not by a longshot.

The game of Week 1 and the game that I am sufficiently hyped for is a perfect example. You have two high-powered offenses in Illinois and Missouri (Maclin!) You have two Heisman candidates in Juice Williams and Chase Daniel. You have passing attacks for the glory with Arrelious Benn and and Maclin/Chase Coffman. You and I know that points are going to be scored.

The only question? Who you got at running back? Daniel Dufrense or Jimmy Jackson. I pick Dufrense, if only because he reminds me of Mitch Hedberg.

6) The #1 cursed position in College Football?

The Oregon Quarterback. From Akili Smith to Nic Costa. They have had severe draft busts, severe knee injuries, and a general malaise about the quarterback play. Justin Roper and Darron Thomas better be afraid. Be very afraid.

7) The underrated match-up of week 1?

Rice-SMU. June Jones debut. Justin Willis versus Chase Clement. Jarrett Dillard versus the SMU defense. It was a 43-42 shootout last year. There’s going to be an encore. And it will be fucking awesome to watch if you can see it. I see 90-100 points combined.

8) If you’re looking for an upset?

Look to Greenville, North Carolina. Remember last year? How hyped up Blacksburg was? You remember the final score? No.

17-7. And it took a Macho Man Flying Interception Return to have it be that sound of a margin. Sure ECU lost Chris Johnson, but you know what? Skip Holtz is an awesome coach. Patrick Pickney is a dual threat. And Tyrod Taylor can’t save them this time.

So? ECU 13 Va Tech 10.

9) My team accepts no challenges…

Except for an inexplicable trip to Fresno State.

10) Are you ready for the football?

I have a pennant race to deal with, so I am not copletely ready.


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