The Grand National Championships

August 26, 2008

Hey Blogfrica?

I’ve got a question for you. Let’s be honest. I know my part in the community has been lackluster as of late. But I’ll have to ask.

Why are we listening to Chris Mortensen as a valid source of NFL Reporting? You know what he’s reported correctly of any consequence in recent memory? Brett Favre has an itch to play football again. That’s it.

You know how hard that is to parse? And that was even after he said that it was a lock that Favre was done for cripes sake. But you know what? You all are reporting on what he says like it’s gospel. And guess what? If seemingly reputable sources on these here internets keep taking their cues from Chris Mortensen, he will keep making shit up.

Hell, I could make up a better rumor than he could. Watch.

Sources close to the Grand National Championships in the Oakland Bureau say that this year Zach Miller has a real chance to become Oakland’s #1 receiving option with Drew Carter’s injury and Javon Walker’s general incompetence. The coaching staff is expecting Miller to be targeted around 150 times during the season.

Really. No idea if this is true. For all I know Ronald Curry is tearing his achilles for a third time at the anticipation of finally being the #1 receiver. But in those 30 seconds? I just outplayed Chris Mortensen.

This is why I am asking you, my Blogfrican brethren. Stop. Stop reporting on Chris Mortensen’s fucking around. Stop treating him like he’s the Mortensen of the early 90’s where you learned more in the three minute segments of Inside the Huddle than you would in an entire hour of an NFL Studio Show.

His “breaking news” is nothing more than yellow journalism that you would find on page six of a dirt sheet like the New York Post. And we need to have a moratorium on reporting on him.

He’s just awful.

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