The Grand National Championships

August 13, 2008

20 Things I Believe…with no empirical reason to do so.

I’m bored. You bored? Yeah. It is a slow news day. So you know what? I am going to list 100 things that are true…that I can’t prove. So, conspiracies, gossip, rumors, half-truths? Welcome. This is where you will live.

  1. You know how the Bush administration paid columnists like Armstrong Williams to hype their talking points? Well they did. But they did not catch them all. Yes, I’m looking at Elizabeth from The View. She’s a phony!
  2. The other player to be named later in the Adam Dunn deal? Chad Tracy. He’ll go back to his super-utility role.
  3. Video Games are the greatest bane to productivity. Ask a dude who’s still working on his Madden 2006 Dynasty. OMG JOSH GOINS NO WAY!
  4. Ramon Sessions is going to be the reason Scott Skiles gets fired. (And I’ll talk about the trade soon.)
  5. Ben Gordon is in that weird place. He’s overrated and underrated at the same time. He’s got Eric Gordon style skills. And yet? The Bulls have seemingly no use for that scorer.
  6. If Ben Gordon goes, any comparison of him with Josh Childress will be moot. It’s subjective. You want intelligent versatility or an ability to put the biscuit in the basket? You can’t really prove one better.
  7. But it will be Josh Childress. I like the afro.
  8. People I inexplicably like if you’re playing fantasy football the first? J.T. O’Sullivan.
  9. Paul Byrd is made of desperate plug-in. Hold on D-Rays.
  10. The Tampa Bay Rays should bring American Hero Aubrey Huff. He could fill one of the holes cheapishly.
  11. Jose Calderon is my least favorite player in the NBA. Not because he hates Asians…but because he’s a hack. Next he’ll tell you he likes Flied Lice. GET IT?!?!
  12. The XBox 360 ruined the works of Brian Michael Bendis.
  13. Dan Didio is bad for comics.
  14. Joel Zumaya is about to become nothing more than Nick Neugebauer. (Big power arm who just can’t stay healthy.)
  15. And Gary Sheffield has ran himself out of another city. Milwaukee, San Diego, Florida, Los Angeles, Atlanta, and New York.
  16. Rush Limbaugh is built to say outrageous things to trip up our shit. He’s useless, and his listeners are useless. They don’t want to be better, they just want to wallow in their own crapulence.
  17. The Democratic Congress has been just as bad as its Republican counterparts.
  18. The Dark Knight is this generations The Godfather.
  19. John C. Reilley will win a best supporting actor Oscar, when he and Ferrell stop fucking around and start getting serious.
  20. Dairy Queen’s tie in to The Dark Knight has pieces of Heath in it…

Think about that last one…

Drew

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