The Jackrabbit Slims Heisman Trophy!

I know some of us have been thrilled that they are able to take a break from all of these gosh darn comparisons. I know I have. But point of fact is these posts get hits, and all in all, we need to take the time and bring a new batch of Heisman Trophy Avatars into the kitchen.

And we will do this like Quentin Tarantino would.

REFERENCING SOMETHING NEARLY FIFTEEN YEARS OLD! 

LOL PULP FICTION COMPARISONS! NO WAY!

Tim Tebow IS Jules Winfield!

You can strike Tebow down. You can ambush him and shoot at him from point blank range. But he is a man worthy of the bad mother fucker wallet. He will rise up every time you strike him down. Next year? He will be drafted by a team that will make him the new Peyton Manning, only with a lot fewer commercials.

Chase Daniel IS Ringo (a.k.a. Pumpkin)

Chase Daniel has three games to attempt something as audacious as a restaurant robbery. If he can win out, and look impressive doing it, he will be playing for the National Championship and could usurp the might and magic of one Tim Tebow for the Heisman. However, he may too hindered by Honey Bunny A.K.A. the really bad pass defense. That and he already lost to OU.

Dennis Dixon IS Marcellus Wallace

Dennis Dixon was the baddest man on the planet. He was pulling in the talent of the hot white woman. He was throwing suckas off of buildings just because his sensibilities were offended. But one knee injury, and like Marcellus Wallace, Dennis Dixon got effed in the A.

Juice Williams IS “The Gimp”

While ulitimately meaningless to the Heisman proceedings, Juice Williams has the potential to fuck your shit up. Don’t believe me? Ask Ohio State how their ass feels after Juice stretched that shit out.

Andre Woodson IS Butch Coolidge

 

Andre Woodson was an entertaining subplot to this season. After all, he brought Kentucky into the Top 10. But besides them shooting Vincent Vega (LSU) on the toilet. Their subplot was ultimately tacked on. Admit it. Even still, when the pressure was on and it looked like he was going to take it up the ass, he kept his head on a swivel and he took control of the situation.

Yes, it looks like Tebow’s to win, but the way things are going? I would not sleep on Daniel. Tebow can’t talk his way out of a bad defense every week.

FOOTBALL!