The Bracket Buster that isn’t. (Bubble Watch Two-for Wednesday)

I told you about this yesterday. The Bracket Buster that isn’t. The most underrated Mid-Major game in Feburary is not Siena going cross country. It isn’t even Drake-Butler. It is Western Kentucky-South Alabama.

Put it this way. This game will decide an at-large bid for some team. If you’re a fan of, let’s say, Davidson? You have got to pay attention.

But before we continue? Let’s have ourselves a Champagne Jam of a Bubble Watch

South Alabama Jaguars (19-5, 13-2)
RPI: 37
SOS: 130
vs. Top 25 RPI: 0-1
vs. Top 50 RPI: 2-2
Quality Wins: Mississippi State, Western Kentucky
Bad Losses: @ North Texas, @ Middle Tennessee State

If close counts in your NCAA Tournament considerations, the Jaguars are in solid shape. Losing to Vanderbilt by three at their place is a good loss. The Mississippi loss is falling off the cliff of quality. Your only worry, Jaguar Fans? Mississippi State has four road games in the last six. 

Remaining Games: @ Western Kentucky, Presbyterian, New Orelans, @ Florida International.

Tomorrow is the key. (I will withhold final judgements until later, but suffice it to say they’re in by winning out to the Sun Belt Championship.) But if they don’t pull it off? They’re going to fall back down the ladder of the Bubble Teams. Momentum is everything, and they have been burned twice in conference.

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (19-5, 13-1)
RPI: 48
SOS: 158
vs. Top 25 RPI: 0-1
vs. Top 50 RPI: 0-3
Quality Wins: None.
Bad Losses: @ Northern Arizona

If close is a consideration in your NCAA Tournament Selections, then the Hiltoppers have one half of a Davidson-sized case. (By 6 at Tennessee, By 4 at South Alabama, By 3 at Gonzaga). Maybe one-third of a case, but still. They do not have anything close to a signature win before they play Western Kentucky. They need this one. 

 

Remaining Games: So. Alabama, LA-Monroe, @ Fla. International, @ Fla. Atlantic

Tomorrow is the key. (I will withhold final judgements until later, but suffice it to say they’re in by winning out to the Sun Belt Championship.) But if they don’t pull it off? They will need to win the conference championship. They have momentum, but when your best win would be at Middle Tennessee State? It means they cannot haz big dance cheezburger.

 
OH NOES!!! 

Final Judgements

Who Wins? It’s a pressure situation. Western Kentucky needs a win. South Alabama is coming into their place. But Western Kentucky’s D can counterbalance the Jaguars O. Ken Pomeroy calls Hilltoppers, I am inclined to disagree. For this one, anyway.

South Alabama
Record: 24-6 (18-3) Out in the Conference Championship Game
Last 12 Games: 10-2

Western Kentucky
Record: 25-6 (19-2) Conference Champions.
Last 12 Games: 11-1

Are they In? Call it a bet hedge, but I think the Sun Belt is a multi-bid conference. So. Alabama may win both in-season battles, but I believe that the Hilltoppers will win the Tournament War. And So. Alabama would be a better choice than the Big East’s 8th place team. So yeah, that’s how it goes.

Unless the Hilltoppers win tomorrow. Then it’s just for the Tournament champ and no one else.

UPDATE: So. Alabama up 57-54, with 7:30 left in the second half. 

UPDATE II: South Alabama 61; Western Kentucky 60, 1:25 to go.

UPDATE III: South Alabama 69; Western Kentucky 64. Final. The Jaguars move into great shape. The Hiltoppers need the auto bid.

Defense wins championships. Can it also win PUPPY BOWLS?

Now my tag team partner Mister Patterson has broken down the offense, I will give you the key to the puppy bowl. I will give you the Defense.

It is meat. It is the kibble. It is the chew toy.

It is the most important breakdown of all time. And by important I do mean adorable.

 
Finnigan Breed: Cavalier King Charles Spaniel / Bichon Frise Mix (aka Cavachon) (PR/KR)
A dog without a true position. Finnigan is pure speed. He has the moves and the wheels to break away from the pack for multiple touchdowns. We just might be looking at a Devin Hester-styled MVP run for Finnegan. But at the very least, there will be lots of pups in Finnigan’s wake. 

 
Jack Breed: Labrador Mix (DE)
Jack Fact: This Jack likes it when you scratch his belly. Also, he refuses to be faked out. He sees a puppy with the ball, he will take him out, no matter if the puppy releases it. Dumb but lovable, much like a TGIF Sitcom. 

 
Jack Breed: Mini Dachshund (DT)
Jack Fact: Wishes to find a home with a large field and has the eyes of a depressed housewife. These eyes lead to excellent reactions and heroic tackles. Jack is the puppy that makes Scuba the superstar. Also, he will cut you wide open!

 
Jackson Breed: West Highland Terrier (CB)
Useless in run support. But if there’s a ball thrown his way? He will close faster than a Japanese Salaryman in need of tension release. And look at that face. He is truly the most adorable cornerback since the immortal Dick “Night Train” Lane. When you look into Jackson’s eyes, you finally understand the beauty of ”The Notebook.”

 
Janet Breed: Bull Terrier Mix (NT)
We all know that Janet’s grandfather carried Bob Golic’s washed up butt in Superdogs:Superjocks. But few know that Janet’s mother had a scene and a line in Saved by the Bell: The New Class. The magic of mulleted Golic is strong, and we shall all bear witness on Puppy Bowl Sunday.

 
Kodiak Breed: Rottweiler / Lab Mix (DE/OLB)
Kodiak plays the hybrid Rob in this defense. He is at once built for speed and power. Kodiak has all the tools. Athleticism, Adorability, Toughness. Kodiak has the on-field skills of Lawrence Taylor and the off-field style of LT in the Waterboy. Bingo is having fitful dreams of Kodiak and his pigeon friend chasing him down and going Puppy Theisman!

 
Kira Breed: Chow Chow Mix (CB)
You would think a tiny face and ease of panting would be a hinderance. You would be wrong. Kira is the press corner that’s not afraid to stick her cute button nose in against a runner. And she will make them bite the rawhide.

 
Maiisey Breed: Australian Toy Shepherd (SS)
Maiisey is a force to be reckoned with on deep balls. A tad undersized, she makes up for it with her remarkable tracking skills and fireceness in seperating the ball from the receiver. Not as adorable as some of her backfield counterparts. But Puppy Bowl’s are not won without help from Maiisey and as the dude who hangs out all day at 7-11 would say? “She’ll chew the crotch out of a rag doll.”

 
Rascal Breed: Border Collie Mix (FS)
A herding dog, Rascal is the perfect dog to roam the defensive backfield. Faster than a people mover, Rascal is great at making the other dogs her footsteps. Like his hero Ed Reed, Rascal knows that true swagger comes from never staring directly at the camera. Fear the Rascal!

 
Raven Breed: Beagle / Mini Pinscher Mix (DE)
You do not want to have to stare down this one when he can pin his ears back and rush the quarterback. This dog will hunt. Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. As adorable as Charles Haley on a coke binge. Raven could easily bumrush the MVP of Puppy Bowl IV. 

 
Scuba Breed: Unknown — Mixed Breeds (MLB)
Scuba is the Rocky Balboa of this event. He grew up on the mean streets of Washington D.C. not knowing exactly what he is. What he is is all heart. He is the story that would be beaten into the ground if he were human. He’s not a Cockapoo. He’s not a Cavachon. He’s not even a Morkie. He’s a mutt. A mutt that made it to the Puppy Bowl on nothing but guts and dry nuggets of dog food. No HGH for Scuba. Jerome Bettis could not have grown up in any more adverse circumstances.

 
Tucker Breed: Maltese / Yorkshire Terrier Mix (aka Morkie) (OLB)
Morkie’s always chase. From sideline to sideline, and goalpost to goalpost. You can never let up on a Morkie. They will find and cause trouble. You need to catch them in the act. Just like my third wife, am I right?

And on that Catskills joke, I think we must make our leave.

I know it seems shocking to some that Sportish type bloggers are going to be leaving this “Super Bowl” for the Puppy Bowl onslaught. But after reading this. You should know.

You should know.

Dear Bill Martin,

Y’all fucked up. You’re too tied to the Schembechler era. This was an era best served with feasting on the mediocre dregs of the Big 10. (Wisconsin says you’re welcome.) Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the facts.

• 5-12 Bowl record.
• 0 National Championships
• Top 5 finisher in only six seasons.

In fact, it makes you wonder. Why is the Michigan man so mad at ol’ Lloyd Carr? He’s only following the legacy of Bo. He’s been just as marginally above average as Bo.

(He actually has a National Championship Ring to boot.)

But this whole “Michigan Man” mystique is a joke. This is what tears programs asunder. Alabama got sunk by an Alabama man. Notre Dame got sunk by sticking with Notre Dame men. Nebraska…

WELL NEVER MIND ABOUT BILL CALLAHAN. HE IS THE EXCEPTION THAT PROVES THE RULE. EVERYTHING I SAY IS IMPORTANT.

Anyway, Les Miles would have been the perfect choice. Old school tradition meets new school sexy time freewheelin’. And I understand why you would want him to coach your team. It would be like the desperate nerd saying to themselves, “Kristen Bell is gonna be my girlfriend!”

And she’s gonna wear this everyday! Yeah!

But wake up Dreamers. Les Miles is spoken for. Sure, he’s willing to put you withing the safe boundaries of the friend zone. (And if you are asking for Ron English, Les will give you an honest opinion.)

But until Lloyd goes; Until David Brandon stops playing at T. Boone Pickens; Until Steve Carrell stops choosing roles like an English Actor; you will find yourself with the dorky cute girl. 

My advice to you? Get MSNBC Personality David Shuster on the job hunt. He’s an alum. And he can sift through the clutter to find the true facts.

He will get you your Coach Diamond in the Rough.

Or just hire Brady Hoke. Keep self-perpetuating this cycle.

The Jackrabbit Slims Heisman Trophy!

I know some of us have been thrilled that they are able to take a break from all of these gosh darn comparisons. I know I have. But point of fact is these posts get hits, and all in all, we need to take the time and bring a new batch of Heisman Trophy Avatars into the kitchen.

And we will do this like Quentin Tarantino would.

REFERENCING SOMETHING NEARLY FIFTEEN YEARS OLD! 

LOL PULP FICTION COMPARISONS! NO WAY!

Tim Tebow IS Jules Winfield!

You can strike Tebow down. You can ambush him and shoot at him from point blank range. But he is a man worthy of the bad mother fucker wallet. He will rise up every time you strike him down. Next year? He will be drafted by a team that will make him the new Peyton Manning, only with a lot fewer commercials.

Chase Daniel IS Ringo (a.k.a. Pumpkin)

Chase Daniel has three games to attempt something as audacious as a restaurant robbery. If he can win out, and look impressive doing it, he will be playing for the National Championship and could usurp the might and magic of one Tim Tebow for the Heisman. However, he may too hindered by Honey Bunny A.K.A. the really bad pass defense. That and he already lost to OU.

Dennis Dixon IS Marcellus Wallace

Dennis Dixon was the baddest man on the planet. He was pulling in the talent of the hot white woman. He was throwing suckas off of buildings just because his sensibilities were offended. But one knee injury, and like Marcellus Wallace, Dennis Dixon got effed in the A.

Juice Williams IS “The Gimp”

While ulitimately meaningless to the Heisman proceedings, Juice Williams has the potential to fuck your shit up. Don’t believe me? Ask Ohio State how their ass feels after Juice stretched that shit out.

Andre Woodson IS Butch Coolidge

 

Andre Woodson was an entertaining subplot to this season. After all, he brought Kentucky into the Top 10. But besides them shooting Vincent Vega (LSU) on the toilet. Their subplot was ultimately tacked on. Admit it. Even still, when the pressure was on and it looked like he was going to take it up the ass, he kept his head on a swivel and he took control of the situation.

Yes, it looks like Tebow’s to win, but the way things are going? I would not sleep on Daniel. Tebow can’t talk his way out of a bad defense every week.

FOOTBALL!

Hey Weblog Awards?

Where’s our nomination? Why aren’t we in the running for best Sports Blog? We’ve only been around for six months and we’ve brought more than one great post to the table. And while the links make it seem like we’re being cocky and arrogant.

We really don’t care that we didn’t get nominated. The thing that annoys us? Kissing Suzy Kolber as best sportsblog two years running. Seriously. That right there is so stupid it makes me wonder how many of the Blogfrican High Council ate paint chips as a child.

The fact is, they only bring one post of note per year. Last year? Grossman. This year? The guide to being an insufferable Masshole. And do you notice something interesting? They’re both written by the same guy.

That’s right. Self-proclaimed fat bitch Big Daddy Drew wrote both posts. The rest of the writers are essentially ballast. (Yes, I know Ufford is the man behind With Leather, but for KSK, he’s no different than Falco.) They could all disappear, and the fact of the matter is, the quality of the site would not wane.

In fact, I’ll admit as I throw up in my mouth a little that it may actually go up.

Secondly, the association to Will Leitch. They were birthed in the commenting section of Deadspin, and like a proud papa, he brags on KSK every chance he gets. That association gives KSK a cachet that they can’t buy.

(Not to say that if my cousin Christopher, miss Barclay, and the Extrapolater get together and form a blog of moderate repute I would not brag upon them every chance I get.)

And you remember that Fantasy Football Keeper league contest? You know, the one for a KSK Reader to hang with the likes of Jaime Mottram and Dan Shanoff? You know the winner was the lady from Strike Zones and End Zones. However, what you did not know, and let my put on my tabloid reporters hat here…

SportsGirl365 was seen canoodling with KSK gadabout Unsilent Majority in the off time before the contest began and they remain amorous to this very day.

That means they don’t care about you, Brooklyn Boy or you Miami Diesel. All they want is your time. They don’t want to chill with you. Your opinions on the majestic Adrian Peterson? Meaningless.

They just want you to read their efforts at comedy and move along.

And finally, the simple fact of the matter is, shouldn’t a humor blog be funny? I mean that’s what KSK claims to be, right? Sure, now they’re saying that they want to make “cheap, obvious dick jokes.” But you know what that is?

That’s an admission of their lack of talent and the fact they think they can get away with it. They’re just the new Bill Simmons. They were new and fresh for a moment there.

Now they just suck.

In Which I Preview Every Major Free Agent

Okay, we all know what Free Darko did with a preview of every NBA Player out there doing his NBA thing. This is an homage. This is something less ambitious and probably less deft than what Free Darko did.

But they have a book deal, I’m barely interested in advertising for this site. And I know baseball better than I know hoop. I drafted this Josh Smith character round two in Fantasy Hoops and I still don’t know who he is.

Notes: The Number in Parentisis is Age. The list, with best guesses for option years is cribbed from MLB Trade Rumors. NT=Non Tendered Free Agent

Catchers
Michael Barrett (31) Will be punched upon his return to Chicago.
Ramon Castro (32) Mike Rivera will attempt to kill him in an homage to Single White Female.
Jason Kendall (34) Had his own personal tech bubble go burst in his ankle.  
Paul Lo Duca (36) Will administer misery upon everone he sees after he takes a lesser deal. Will bat .533 in Spring Training.
Jorge Posada (36) Will miss having Tim Gunn as his wingman more than he’ll ever know.
Jose Molina (33) Will go on a hunting trip with Yadier and Bengie. None will return. One week later, a Japanese ghost will be found.
Yorvit Torrealba (30) His strong arm and good game calling will not save him from the Hell of leaving the Rockies.

First basemen
Sean Casey (34) Will find the schtick that was so cute long ago has worn thin.
Tony Clark (36) Reminds everyone that he was once the #2 pick in the Draft.
Darin Erstad (34) Chuck Klosterman will fight to keep him in the league.
Scott Hatteberg (38) Billy Beane does not return his calls.
Ryan Klesko (37) Has not checked the children. And the call is coming from inside the house! OH NOES!
Doug Mientkiewicz (34) Keeps rereading his sections in the Sam Walker book “Fantasyland.”

Second basemen
Luis Castillo (32) He needs to hit .330 to have value.
Marcus Giles (30) Will be a butler to a rich English family in the BBC’S hilarious send up of the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air.”
Tadahito Iguchi (33) Really misses Shingo Takatsu.
Mark Loretta (37) Has no use for these proceedings.
Kaz Matsui (32) Is still confused as to why the kid from Growing Pains hasn’t saved the world yet.
Jose Valentin (38) The stealthy play for someone who needs a third baseman.

Shortstops
David Eckstein (33) Loves the fact that he is white.
Cesar Izturis (28) Will grab your taint for league minimum.
Alexei Ramirez (26) Is really 47 years old.
Juan Uribe (29) Will punch Michael Barrett upon his return to Chicago.
Omar Vizquel (41) Does not know about his name drop on the Simpsons.

Third basemen
Pedro Feliz (33) The luckiest boy in free agency land.
Mike Lamb (32) Loves the Gyros. Truly, he like-a the juice.
Mike Lowell (34) Will make 20 million dollars more thanks to Scott Boras’ showstealing.
Alex Rodriguez (32) Demands Don Cheadle voiceovers every time he has to talk.

Left fielders
Barry Bonds (43) [Reference to drug use and general unlikability.]
Cliff Floyd (35) As the man said, you can’t go home again.
Luis Gonzalez (40) Back in his day he walked uphill both ways to batting practice, and 15 home runs were tremendous! SPECTACULAR!
Geoff Jenkins (33) If Trot Nixon kind of looked like Brett Favre…
Reggie Sanders (40) America’s Next Top Black Republican.
Shannon Stewart (34) A cautionary tale for Vernon Wells.
Brad Wilkerson (31) Al’s Ramblings choice for a stopgap replacement for your Milwaukee Brewers.

Center fielders
Mike Cameron (35) Even with the PED suspension, the 4th stupidest Center fielder available.
Torii Hunter (32) Will creepily tongue kiss Alex Rodriguez for allwoing him to play close to home in Arlington.
Andruw Jones (31) Will have a huge bounce back year justifying the smaller big contract. Scott Boras will eat bone marrow out of Mark Prior’s arm in frustration.
Kenny Lofton (41) Will sign with a losing playoff team for a one year deal.
Corey Patterson (28) Reads “#1 Prospect 2001, 2002″ on his business card.
Aaron Rowand (30) Not worth the money he’s going to get.

Right fielders
Milton Bradley (30) He’ll be coming back next year.
Kosuke Fukudome (31) Has his own tribute band.
Shawn Green (35) Jewish. And yet he is nowhere near excited about Bee Movie as the chosen people are expected to be.
Jose Guillen (32) About to find himself in a hilarious romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore.
Trot Nixon (34) Geoff Jenkins with a southern fried Boston accent.

DHs
Mike Piazza (39) Bravely wore a mustache in the mid-1990′s at the Mustache’s nadir.
Sammy Sosa (39) Will likely be the unintelligible ESPN Baseball Analyst. Sorry Eduardo Perez!
Mike Sweeney (34) The tragic hero of Major League Baseball.

Yeah. You need a break. I shall provide you solace. As well as a pretty girl doing stuff.

Yep. There we go. A sorbet to clear the palate. ON TO PITCHING!

Starting pitchers
Tony Armas (30) In a world where the elite play dice with the universe, only one man fights for you. That man is Tony Armas.
Kris Benson (33) [Reference to the attractiveness of his wife].
Paul Byrd (37) Apparently Jesus loves a lying drug user.
Shawn Chacon (30) Holds the record for most saves with a 7+ ERA in a single season.
Roger Clemens (46) Will feign a hamstring injury to get out of the act of lovemaking.
Matt Clement (33) The ballast of the Boston Red Sox. He’s a rich man’s Jamey Wright.
Bartolo Colon (35) Went to 30 Taco Bells in the greater Los Angeles area on October 30th. He loves his tacos.
Josh Fogg (31) Really loves the music of Mel Torme.
Casey Fossum (30) Has a crippling addiction to Soma.
Freddy Garcia (32) Can’t look himself in the mirror.
Tom Glavine (42) The last of the Red Hot 300 Game Winner Bombshells.
Livan Hernandez (33) Is voting for Stephen Colbert in the primaries.
Jason Jennings (29) Finds Top Ten Lists the Lowest form of communication if your name is not David Letterman.
Byung-Hyun Kim (29) Million dollar arm, seven cent head.
Brian Lawrence (32) He’s the Dollar Tree Jon Leiber.
Jon Lieber (38) He is Bob Tewksbury for a new generation!
Kyle Lohse (29) Calls Jeff Suppan for advice on being a mediocre pitcher demanding 8 figures per year.
Rodrigo Lopez (32) He is the inspiration for the man known throught Mexcio as El Dandy.
Eric Milton (32) They say it’s a hopeless fight, but he says he has to try.
Tomo Ohka (32) Has not seen one episode of Cautionary Tales of Swords.
Russ Ortiz (34) Will have to pay a team two million dollars for a spot on the 40-man roster.
Odalis Perez (31) The greatest non-roster invitee you will ever see.
Kenny Rogers (43) Will punch you if you offer him chicken. Or film him. Or if you’re at arms length. He’s really an ass.
Curt Schilling (41) The fans of his 13th free agent choice are overjoyed to even be mentioned. Seriously. They have no dignity.
Carlos Silva (29) He will flee to South Africa after a slow start. 
Julian Tavarez (35) Will fight a baby and lose.
John Thomson (34) The Division Three Linfield Tigers basketball team has a standing offer for him to coach.
Brett Tomko (35) Once traded between two fantasy baseball players 12 times.
Steve Trachsel (37) Ugly. Mean. Slow. If he couldn’t pitch, he’d be working at Burger King.
Jeff Weaver (31) Will retire to become the next Christopher Cross.
David Wells (45) Will retire to the Independent Nation of Buckfalls Ranch.
Kip Wells (31) Is gifted with the greatest gift of all. Delusion.
Randy Wolf (31) The greatest professional player in MTV Rock and Jock history.
Jamey Wright (34) Pitches like a man who has sex with Misty Mundae on the side.
Jaret Wright (32) His elbow fell off. Forget about him.
Mike Maroth (NT) He’s lefthanded. Apparently that’s valuable.
Mark Prior (NT) Busy providing Scott Boras what he needs to survive.

Closers
Armando Benitez (35) Is a lot scarier before you get to know him.
Francisco Cordero (33) He will disappoint at 4 years and 44 million.
Eric Gagne (32) Wishes for a smaller market so he can smoke his hookah in piece.
Todd Jones (40) For someone who hates the gays, he has the mustache of someone whom knows the restroom code. LARRY CRAIG!
Mariano Rivera (38) Will sign with the Colorado Rockies in an upset.
Bob Wickman (39) Enjoys butter fried butter.

Middle relievers
Jeremy Affeldt (29) Remarkable, he has not felt a boob. The Dugout lies here.
Antonio Alfonseca (36) Curses the lack of convenient taco bells in the greater Philadelphia area.
LaTroy Hawkins (35) He is a random mediocre middle reliever. Also, he’s a shapeshifter.
Jorge Julio (29) The Dominican Byung Hyun-Kim
Joe Kennedy (29) An underrated lefthanded swingman option.
Scott Linebrink (31) Dominant in 2005 and 2006. The “LOST” of baseball players.
Troy Percival (39) Goes after all nerds with a violent fury.
David Riske (31) Owes Jaime Walker for his pioneering middle relief work.
Mike Timlin (42) Regrets not being around for the majestry of RBI Baseball.
Luis Vizcaino (31) Won a radar gunoff versus Kyle Farnsworth.
Kerry Wood (31) Will still look like the drummer from the Offspring.
Eddie Guardado (NT) Once upon a time, this man was what was right with the world. Now, he is merely filler.

See, there you go. Now you know that if you sign Luis Vizcaino, he has a power arm. Or Marcus Giles will be the next Ricky Gervais. I have done a service here.

You’re welcome.

Sports in Brief.

• Rutgers 30, South Florida 27. Ray Rice is Chamillionaire featuring Slick Rick compared to Walter Walker’s hip-hop police.
• You want another reason to hate the Colorado Rockies? They are trying to tradmark the bastion of classic rock stations, and the way South Carolina’s favorite son wishes to remember this holiest of months. That’s right. The Colorado Rockies want to trademark Rocktober. I say unto them only this. Jesus was a man whom believed in charitable deeds.
• Sure, Josh Beckett cares not for the reindeer games of the Cleveland Indians. However, with all the idiots that had to proclaim a team that was DOWN in the series as already having it locked up, you know whom I’m rooting for if the Red Sox actually prove the Massholes right? A crippling players strike.
• Am I the only one who doesn’t find Gilbert Arenas’ shenanigans cute anymore? Seriously, he’s the Jon Heder of basketball. Less lazy bloggers, this is all your fault.
• Apparently, the Yankees are unhappy with ESPN’s coverage of the Torre situation. In other news? Water is dry and up is dowm.
• Yeah, I said dowm. It is that weird.
• I hate that the SEC has both games of the week this week. If Auburn can prove themselves sexy vs. LSU? The ramifications may be scary. And we all know about Tebow v. Woodson.
• My fantasy football team sucks and it’s my fault.
• Oates loves the fact that UConn is now at 7-1. Oates loves them Huskies.
• 
• Also, Shawne Merriman should be tested for the chlamydia.
• 

i love you bye for now!

Here’s the thing about the Bandwagon Fans.

When they leap off? They leap off angry.

How do I know this? Because this was a big weekend for the bandwagon crash. Florida, Oklahoma, Texas, the Big East, Penn State, etc. Add to that the final death gurgles of my Brewers and the Mets, and what did we get?

The self-proclaimed heroes of people whom aren’t geographically nearby have failed them. And in the Shphere of Blogfrica, that means you have the means with none of the brand loyalty. This weekend? It brought us two bandwagon denouncements that a Red Sox fan would be proud of.

But why? Why do people act so cold to the teams that they done hitched their wagons to?

The I told you so factor. Everybody wants to say see, see, I so called that. I mean, if I had any guts, I would have had a Packers-Saints NFC Championship game. But when you miss. When the milk turns bad?

Things get virulent. People get bitchy. I get annoyed by bloggers whom are better than me.

But they don’t care. They’re living and dying with the Rockies tonight.

Yeah, so get this. (Random blathers)

1. Wisconsin-Michigan State is one really fucking interesting game for next week. Both teams have the optomist-pessimist dichotomy to them. The Badgers are either completely underacheieving or battle tested and tougher than leather. The Spartans have either found the man to lead them out of the wilderness in Mark D’Antonio or these are still John L. Smith’s players and the other shoe will drop presently.
2. @ 1: Personal opinion, anyone who says this game is a potential upset for Michigan State is an idiot. If they win? D’Antonio is the leader at the turn for Coach of the Year and the Spartans win 9.
3. I’m concedeing on the Brewers. Two and a Half Out, eight to play. Capuano starts today. Then the Brewers get 4 with the Padres while the Cubs get three with Florida. As they say in the on-line poker community, nh gg Cubs.
4. Glass Joe got rolled by a team in the midst of scandal.  
5. UNLV shuts out Utah. Hooray for UNLV showing backbone!
6. If there was a betting window on Andre Woodson being the #1 pick in next years NFL Draft, I’ll put all 59 dollars of cash to my name on it. Upside always beats production. Always.
8. @ 7: Oklahoma State 49, Texas Tech 45.
9. @ 7: Anyone else hearing Will Ferrell yelling “Brandon get off the shed!” Anyone?
10. I am really lazy about my blogroll. Really. Because unlike some other fatty fat fat fat fucking fat assed fat bastards, if I’m going to effort at the comedic, I don’t go for the lazy lame stereotype.
11. Also, Jerry Jones was born in Los Angeles, California, and lived in North Little Rock, Arkansas. Thus, he is more likely to be a passive agressive dick to Wade than be much like Larrity.

Yeah, I’ll see most of you in another month or so when we do something off the chain amazing. Because it’s not cool to rag on the popular kids. Seriously. You’d think I learned the lesson.

I mean, anybody seen Stop Mike Lupica lately? 

Whoo! Lawsuit’s Withdrawn Roundup 9/12/07!

This whole Don Imus thing was awful. Simply awful. It was the media at it’s absolute worst. There was blatant opportunism on all sides. Quite frankly, it was a fucking witch hunt. And it made me feel sympathy for a man whom I hated. Seriously, fuckdonimusinhisskeletorhead.wordpress.com was like the third choice.

But as soon as rumors of Don Imus making a potential comeback started making the rounds, all of the sudden, out of nowhere, say hey what do you say America? Boom. Lawsuit. Am I saying the timing was tricky? Yes. Am I saying someone’s out to get Don Imus? I wasn’t.

Because that’s just crazy talk, right?

But now that the lawsuit’s withdrawn? Barely a month after the talk of the imus comeback comes into play? I’m not saying Kia Vaughn isn’t a good person.

I’m just saying that like Yi Jainlian, Kia Vaughn is being handled. Unfortunately, Kia Vaughan is not nearly as able to handle herself.