Hey, did you know I read?

I do. And in this world, I review books about Minor League Baseball. My latest one was about Steve Fireovid and his 1990 season in Triple A. Read it won’t you?

B.J. Novak is now the less annoying Ryan Howard.

Now it’s not the Subway pitchman’s fault. If you were offered 125 million dollars over five years? Goes without saying you’d take it. I mean, you’d be taken to an asylum if you said, “No! I don’t want to be paid 25 million dollars to play a sport when I’m 36! That’s crazy for you to offer!”

But why Ryan Howard is so annoying is because my favorite local sports team has a first baseman of boldness and genius power. Sure, he enjoys candy a little too much, but he’s strong and as long as he’s a Brewer? He’s going to be someone I enjoy a lot.

But with the Ryan Howard contract? There’s no way he’s returning. I’m not going to say that I was so naive as to believe that he was anything close to a 50/50 shot to come back. I know basic math and probabilities. But you know what?

I wanted to believe. Hope’s a good thing. I mean it’s hard to be an idealist upon the internet. And now? In this aspect of my life, I cannot feel good about it. Prince is as good as gone.

Ryan Howard put the final nail in the coffin.

The LA Dodgers have decided to strike last…

Sick and tired of getting chased after by the Rockies and the Giants after squandering a massive lead in the NL West, the Dodgers have decided to take advantage of two teams in full fire sale mode and infuse their team with just a little more talent.

THEY’RE GOING TO BE A PART OF IT! LOS ANGELES!

The Los Angeles Dodgers now have themselves a whooping stick and on baseman for the clutch scenarios of life as well as a solid innings eater. And if the Dugout has taught me anything? Jim Thome will make everything better. Everything.

Jon Garland? He will knock you down.

Also? Brad Penny and Jose Contreras went to the NL West also rans. Boston fans will forget every other World Series since 2005 and call the NL the Special Olympics.

I tremble in excitement about that.

Okay. I’ll say it.

Brewers aren’t making the playoffs this year.

I’m going to give you a second to recover. It’s as bad of news as the Abraham Washington Show. But here’s the thing. Why aren’t the Brewers trying to see if they can’t get a prospect for their two free agents to be?

Yeah, I’m not saying there’s a 5-star prospect coming back. Doesn’t have to be. The Brewers could probably take two upper-level arms of a decent vointage and an A-ball prospect with upside for Mike Cameron and Felipe Lopez. Or two if a team interested in a second baseman (looking at you Atlanta) would be so inclined.

Now I’m glad they’re willing to trade Bill Hall. And I’m glad somebody seems inclined to take him. But they have pieces. Pieces that bring value back. And this value would be likely better than some lame draft choice.

Dude. Later.

Cesar Carrillo and the Little Mac references.

I talk fantasy baseball, redemption, and why you should never just shut down a college pitcher suffering from elbow problems. Cesar Carrillo got lit up today. But there’s more to the story.

At least I think there is.

I’m not unsympathetic to Bill Castro.

I mean, it’s not as if a castoff from two organizations that were desperate for any sort of farm talent was going to be a starting pitcher that could stop any sort of bleeding.
It’s not as if a team that loses Sabathia and Sheets and replaces that with Braden Looper was going to be a recipe for pitching success.
It’s not as if Jeff Suppan’s suck wasn’t going to keep growing.
It’s not as if Chris Capuano brought anything to the table.
It’s not as if Manny Parra lost his shit.
It’s not as if all the starter issues was going to drain the bullpen of their skills.
It’s not as if he’s going to get another pitching coach job in the bigs either.

But hey, we live in a world where somebody’s got to take the fall for the slump. So Bill Castro’s gone.

What does this mean? This probably isn’t going to work like the Ned Yost September purge. Billy Hall’s been designated for assignment. J.J. Hardy is in AAA. The Mighty Mustache is scrambling. Usually when this happens, it’s too little too late.

We’re Two Days Away From the Deadline…

And while some of the big dominoes still have room to fall, we have to discuss where we are, right? Who’s won, who’s lost, and who’s yet to make a stand.

Who’s won?

Philadelphia: They’ve acquired Cliff Lee and a great 4th outfielder in Ben Fransisco and they did not have to give up any of the pieces that stopped them from committing to Roy Halladay. Now I like Carrasco, and Marson has great hitting potential, but they were able to keep Michael Taylor and J.A. Happ as well as Kyle Drabek. It’s the piece they needed, and they didn’t have to give up anything.

Cleveland: At present, they’ve infused themselves with seven top ten prospects from three pretty good systems. Jason Knapp is in A-Ball and Jason Donald has pretty well sucked this year, but for a guy that was going to get squeezed out and a guy they couldn’t afford? They got a B+ worth of value. And when you add in the two power relievers they got for DeRosa and Scott Barnes, an already good system gets better. They may be waiting for next year, but there’s hope in Cleveland.

Who’s lost?

San Fransisco: Long term, my gut says they’ve made a huge terrible mistake. Not to say that the offense they have won’t get better because of Ryan Garko and Freddy Sanchez, but come on. Tim Alderson is kicking ass in Double-A and Scott Barnes looks like he’s going to be goods. And is it that going to be that big of an upgrade over Travis Ishikawa and Eugenio Velez? No. Brian Sabean is such an idiot.

Somewhere in the Middle?

Seattle: I’d lean toward this being a loss. If you’re going to move to a sell, you need to start playing your prospects. I mean, Ryan Langerhans is a bad stopgap. A real bad one. To keep Langerhans and dump Wladimir Balentin for a junkball reliever? Bad sauce.

And cosidering the Mariners catching situation, I would be baffled by dealing Jeff Clement. But Ian Snell was the best player in the deal by far. I mean, Jack Wilson sucks, but the Pirates are paying some salary. And odds are one of the three pitchers the Pirates will get there? But they are bottom third prospects in a bad organization. My money’s on Brett Lorin.

And Dan Cortes is bound to find the plate eventually, right?

Pittsburgh: Getting Lastings Milledge? Good. Getting Tim Alderson? Good. The Ian Snell trade? Meh. They have no room for Jeff Clement. And outside of Lorin? There’s nobody that interests me. So, B-.

Cold Chilling at the Halladay Inn

Let me propose something. Let me propose the premise that J.P. Riccardi is about to outhink himself on the Roy Halladay front. He wants the moon and the stars coming back in return. And rightfully so. You get a pitcher of Halladay’s caliber coming back for 2010.

That being said? He’s treading dangerous ground. Why? Because he’s letting offers pass that many would consider strong hauls for the pitcher. Philly has an offer of J.A. Happ, Michael Taylor, Carlos Carrasco, and Jason Donald. Put this another way.

J.A. Happ is a pitcher who’s been strong in a hitters park. Michael Taylor killed pitchers dead in his half-season of AA. Carrasco? He’s had to deal with a .330 BABIP and bad luck with homers. And Jason Donald is struggling after coming back from an injury.

It’s not a 12 out of 10 in terms of the highway robbery scale, but Michael Taylor’s coming quickly and coming strong. Happ would be moving to a pitchers park, which would help offset any changes in talent. Carrasco is having a fluky season of bad luck. And Jason Donald is kind of sucky this year, but that’s beside the point.

The point is, Riccardi is not going to get anywhere near a haul that he could get this season if he decides that he’s going to wait until next year. The Indians got two players who might be worth a damn for Sabathia. If he’s going to wait for someone to blink, he may be sorely mistaken.

And he may lose out on a real chance to help for the future because of it.

The teased Bus Leagues Baseball post is here…

I’m talking about how the Brewers will likely lose their playoff chances for the inability to have a pitcher maintain their health or gain knowledge legally. It’s time for you to get learned. It’s time for you to find out why Alexandre Periard and Jeremy Jeffress have taken a FUBAR to the head of the Brewers Chances.

Go here now.

Yes now.

The Buherle Bear Network…

By now you know, Mark Buehrle tossed a perfect game against the Tampa Bay Rays. (Why? Because they let Juan Uribe go!) And while this is truly an august feat, rarer than anything beyond a 100 extra base hit season. This is not a guarantee of immortality.

For there have been 17 perfect games before today, and there’s an interesting fact. If you count Mike Witt? There has been as much mediocrity as there has been Immortality who achieved this one shining moment.

Mike Witt finished 117-116 as he is the Mendoza line for perfect mediocrity. Len Barker, Charlie Robertson, Don Larsen, and Lee Richmond all finished under .500 and all had an ERA+ under 100.

And we have the immortal division of Cy Young, Addie Joss, Catfish Hunter, Jim Bunning, and Sandy Koufax. These are hall of famers and these are well-regarded legends of baseball. And what do these ten pitchers have in common?

I thought none of them would begoing to have Mark Buherle join their ranks. Sure, he’s one of the two active pitchers who now have hit 27 up and 27 down in nine innings. But does he have a chance to surpass the levels of Dennis Martinez and Kenny Rogers? Absolutely. Is he better than David Cone? In terms of ERA+ Actually yes.

I guess what I’m saying here is, Mark is a very underrated pitcher. He’s quietly been great. But are we at a point where we can consider his stuff Hall of Fame? Not yet. He’d need to have seven or eight more years of solid and not try to hang on above and beyond the pale of his career. If Jim Kaat and David Cone were smart enough to quit while they were ahead, maybe there would be stronger consideration to their whole hall of fame divinity.

Final analysis? Buerhle’s case is stronger than I originally thought, but he has a long way to go. Perfection helps, but he needs a ring or another 125-150 wins.