Yeah, yeah. Another List post. Deal with it. But this is a list post where we don’t rank the ten best movies of the decade I liked. This is ten movies that deserve recognition for some reason, tangible or otherwise.
Best Fast Zombie Movie: 28 Days Later.
Best Movie With the Worst Title: Sexdrive
Best Bad Ben Affleck Movie: Daredevil/Boiler Room (tie)
Best Depressing Indie Movie That Kind of Confused Me: Where the Truth Lies
Best Shitty Blockbuster: Bruce Almighty (You know it’s in the top 100 of all-time box-offices? Yeah. And it has two funny scenes. Two.)
Best Movie With The Worst Ending: I Drink Your Milkshake! I Drink It Up!
Best “So Bad It’s Awful” Movie: House of the Dead.
Best Manic Pixie Dream Girl as Porn Star Movie: The Girl Next Door
Best Depressing Indie Movie I Actually Understood: Mullholland Drive
Best Underrated Movie of the Decade: Frailty. Just Frailty.
I know. I feel as if I have left you behind. Three half-baked formspring responses and sweet f-all from the kid. I’m doing some soul searching. So, I will leave you with a top ten list.
But at least I will give you a list about 2009. That’s timely right?
And In this list, I will give you my 10 favorite movies of the year…That I’ve seen. So, no Adventurland. No Taken. And no District 9. There’s good odds that two out of the three would make my top ten list. It was kind of a down year.
Anyway… going in reverse order?
10) Extract (Mike Judge is always stronger when he keeps his focus small. This is a story about the lengths people can go to avoid communication. And Ben Affleck is remarkably hilarious here.)
9) Whip It (It was dead solid solid. I know it’s a really girly movie. I like sports movies. What?)
8) Watchmen (It’s not perfect. Zack Snyder’s not a man known for his nuance with musical choices. But damnit. I was enthralled, damnit.)
7) The Informant! (As a satire of the whistleblower movie? It’s top notch.)
6) Star Trek (The populist Summer Blockbuster Action Movie A go-go.)
5) A Serious Man (Michael Sthulbarg is the best actor of 2009 for his portrayal of Larry Gopnik. Anybody who says otherwise? Fuck you. Looking at you Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart!)
4) The Hangover (Todd Phillips always knew how to be funny. It’s nice to see that he found it again instead of trying to become the next WPT champ.)
3) The Hurt Locker (The indie populist action movie a go-go. Jeremy Renner would win best actor in every other year but this one.)
2) Up (I know I may be tempting controversy of what’s next. But while I enjoyed this movie tremendously?)
1) Zombieland (It didn’t make me want to watch it three times. This did. Rule of awesome carries the fridge logic of the female characters ending.)
So what say you?
What would your dream job look like?
Simple? I would design ad campaigns for local news affiliates based on meaningless stuff that looks cool. As an example?
Doppler TEN Thousand. THE FIRST IN FIVE FIGURED WEATHER FORECASTING!
If you had the chance to torture Brett Favre, what would you do to him?
Be perfectly honest. I wouldn't. Torture doesn't work. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't let him think I would be torturing him.
I would set him up for a little Marathon man styled torture. Get to the point where I'm about to start drilling. Then retire.
Then I would come back. And get to the point where he's about to get pushed out a window in a chair? Then I would retire.
In short? I would just have fun out there.
It was because the referees had their fingers in the pies of the Conference finals. And I have to say, it was easy. I could keep a more cursory glance on the Bucks and let the basketball knowledge atrophy.
That being said? I came back in full force last season. And it was a fun season to watch. Not so happy the Lakers took it down, but hey. That’s okay.
Tonight on the other hand stings a little. I know the Lakers were going to get a call or two along the way. But the Bucks earned a win here that was taken away. Not because of Kobe’s buzzer beater. Okay, yes. That was the coup de grace.
However? The referees gave Kobe the opportunity. +19 in free throws. An egregious lane violation. And a call that so enraged the announcers that people are trying to make a meme.
Ah well. I found something that makes me feel better.
Stephen Colbert is still awesome. I know you still know that. But I feel that it warrants mentioning. Did you see tonight? Then you know.
If not? No spoilers. Watch a rerun.
It sucks to be a small market baseball fan. You have John Lackey signing with Boston. And that should work out pretty well. And that also leads to a rumor that they’re going to trade for Adrian Gonzalez, because there are only so many at-bats that you can have at first base/DH.
And the trade? Oh sweet Jesus. Halladay to Philly. Clifton Phifer Lee to Seattle. Two divisions suddenly have new expectations or expectations locked down. Big, bold moves. And you get your teams fanbases talking.
But then there’s the Brewers. Guess what we did today? Re-signed Craig Counsell. Which is AWESOME. And along with that? We’ve locked down Claudio Vargas.
I know, I’m not exactly someone who should complain. If the team is close, I know for a fact that the big bold moves aren’t out of the Brewers quiver. But after the wild card? It’s ennui.
It’s the fact that it’s not completely insane to make an Ed Wade maneuver for middle relief help anymore. It’s the fact that somehow Jason Kendall is still worth three million dollars a year.
Sorry. I’ll move on. And transfer this to a LiveJournal soon enough.
I know that Bill Simmons would be thrilled if he ever read the blog. But there’s an obvious theory. If you believe that the National League is the weaker league, it stands to reason that you can find success with reclamation projects in the American League. How does this work?
Because Chien Ming-Wang got non-tendered by the Yankees. His arm was noodles last year. And he struggled. He probably would not be ready for war right off the bat. His agent would say that he would be ready by May 1st. The Brewers are likely in a situation with a one, a three, and certain amount of uncertainty.
I’m not pitching this as a cure all. I’m not pitching this as a necessity. But for someone who was looked upon as lacking the due dilligence? I feel like it warrants mentioning that he could help.
If I had the heart? I would adapt a Christmas Carol with Mark D’Antoni as Jacob Marley, Gerry Faust as the Ghost of Christmas Past, Charlie Weis as the Fail Ghost of Christmas Present, and Brian Kelly, assistant coach at Western Michigan as the ghost of Christmas future.
But I don’t. So suffice it to say he’ll win games at a 57% clip. And get fired at the end of the contract.