Those of you who were here from the beginning know about Brandi Hawbaker

If you don’t? Here’s a cliffs notes. Reasonably attractive, but mentally disturbed poker player/con artist.

But to get you up to speed, she fell in with noted poker author David Skalansky and his Two Plus Two Forum. And when things were good? David was thrilled with the exploitative purproses for his website.

All that and worse, after the jump.

LET’S GET DIRTY! 

But before she fell back in with David Sklansky, she was dating a man named Brandon. And the alleged way that things broke down? She cleaned him out of apartment and home. And this is where Sklansky comes in. 

• I have a feeling that there is another side to this story. And that Brandi would like to tell it. But if she does, she has a problem. Because even if she would dispute the vast majority of Brandon’s accusations and even if she had good reasons for her actions, she is better off legally, saying nothing.

  For instance she can’t say “I came home one night to find Brandon in bed with eight girls and he gave one of them my engagement ring. So I pawned his dishwasher.” Because even though we would all forgive her she would be admitting a crime.

  But that means we are all deprived of her side of the story and 2+2 is deprived of a thread with 600,000 views.

  To get around that all that is necessary is that Brandi avoid any direct admission of a crime and that no one here tries to make her comment on anything her lawyer would advise her to keep silent about.

  I say 600,000 but deep down I am dreaming of a million.

 

And so long as it was page views, sure, it would be a little creepy. But ZOMG, 600,000 PAGE VIEWS? I’m sure there are some in the bloggersphere that would take that any day of the week. However? Like anything that once was pure on the internet, this were soon to turn sour.

 

For you see, David Skalansy played sugar daddy to the woman who made his forum infamous, and offered gave her a stake for a pornographic picture, oh how about I just let him explain it…

• I hope Mason will forgive me for not forwarding it. He would have probably made the ban permanent and I was hoping I could still calm Brandi down, at least regarding Sue. I wasn’t quite sure what she had in mind. But then I get a mind blowing PM from Brandon telling me that Brandi is trying to reestablish contact with him if he will find an unattractive picture of Sue that she can spread around.

  From that point on every action I took was soley to prevent that. Friendly emails to Brandi. Shipping her money. Not defending myself on the thread about me. Every other goal paled in comparison. Although I have never bothered to read the emails Brandi posted, I am assuming some came after I made this decision.

  As to the emails written before all this happened. (I am assuming they are not made up). The truth is far less creepy than most assume. And I am about to tell you the real story. I didn’t till now because it was far more important not to set Brandi off. A lessor reason was that even the most negative spin you could put on them wouldn’t bother me. I had fallen for Brandi but couldn’t express it? I was a sucker for pussy pictures? A guy who wanted some action for poker lessons? All false but who cares anyway? She wasn’t saying I was disloyal to my friends or that The Theory of Poker contains major errors.

  But with her blackmail weapon now gone I can now explain. From the moment I met Brandi I let her know that if I was available I would hit on her. Just like TF. She replied that the only thing about him that bothered her was that he was sneaky. Had he asked to be a sugar daddy she would go for it. I took that to be an offer which I reluctantly refused. But we did occasionaly get flirtatious and slightly naughty. I once grabbed a vibrator out of my glove compartment and put it between her legs. If that disgusted her she never mentioned it. When I would visit her she often lay down in my lap.
  And she was flirtatious to Sue also. Sue hoped I would bring her home to her.

  But that was only a small part of our relationship. I was mainly trying to mentor her and help both of us benefit from her notoriety.

  After a six month seperation for no good reason, the blowup with Brandon allowed me to try to resume where we had left off. I was well aware that in pursuing that path it was incumbant on me to try to get her to make amends with those she had wronged. So I lectured her a lot. When I got to LA last month I had some phone conversations with Brandi. In one of them I mentioned that I hate it when girls shave completely. She surprised me by saying she was just the opposite. And volunteered to come to my room and prove it in bikini panties. We didn’t get around to that. The next day I met her for dinner with two friends. And she acted like a bitch toward me. Trivial stuff but completely uncalled for. Given the help I had recently given her. It was part of the reason I cut my trip short. But we still remained somewhat friendly.

  When I got back to Vegas she went on a tear. 4K in a week. My two contributions were recognizing that 90 player $24 SitnGos were right up her alley and helping her with the more technical aspects. She did the rest herself. Then the one day I’m gone she blows it all. Half spent, half on $500 Satellites. I was furious that she did that but offered her one more chance. $260 for ten buy ins but she has to poromise not to play higher. A piddling amount that could still reap great benefits. And as a token of appreciation how bout a picture of what you had offerred to model for me? No problem she says.

  Next day she is playing in a $100 tourney and there is no picture. She claims she got a small infusion of extra money. Not an acceptable excuse but forgiveble. But what about the picture? Had she said that it made her feel uncomfortable, or that she didn’t have time, or some such thing it would have been OK. Instead she wrote “I told you that I would send it but I didn’t say when”. What? She is treating me like a sucker. What did I do to deserve that? That set me off to write the other emails that you might have read. (And when I used the expressions “please me” or “be nice to me” it wasn’t a euphemism for sex whether you believe me or not.)

  The last few paragraph could contain some minor innacuracies but who cares? Like I said I wouldn’t even care if you believed everything she implied.
  The blackmail about Sue was another storythough. Not the implication that I am too abnormal to have a relationship with a typical 40 year old. I can get plenty of testimonials to disprove that. It was the devastation of Sue that Brandi was holding over her head. (Any post making fun of Sue will be deleted by the way). Nipping it in the bud will hopefully ameliorate that.

  But that is not why this is being posted. It was because in spite of the fact that Sue is vaguely aware that Brandi was up to no good she begged me to.
  She wanted to save Brandi’s life.

Yeah. Go shower off. I’ll wait.

So, long story short. Brandi gets banned, David threatens to throw acid in her face. And the feud goes e-mail.

(Note: e-mail addresses are clearly edited.)

• ————————- Original Message —————————-
  Subject: Now That My Anger Has Subsided
  From: Dsklansky@Iwishicoulddodamagecontrol… situation.edu
  Date: Sat, March 1, 2008 5:12 pm
  To: brandi@Icouldbemakingthis****upbecau…llycraz y.net
  Cc: nocluewhotheCCis@gmail.com
  ————————————————————————–

  So you see that it is probably not neccessary for me to do anythig illegal
  to make sure you get what you deserve. HOWEVER it is important to
  understand
  that you might be in such jeapardy without my knowledge. For instance you
  know I have young friends, who have friends, who have friends who do nasty
  things at the blink of an eye. Drive by shootings etc. To do something
  like throw
  some paint on a good dress would be nothing to them. If I ever told my
  friends that your obsession with your looks means that you would be
  appalled if
  that happened to you once, let alone a dozen times, they might do that
  behind my
  back just to please me. Asking nothing in return They might even think I’d
  like it better if it was acid rather than paint since that would mean people
  would say “guess you can’t talk about Sue now”. I would never want them
  to to
  do that but you never know about those guys.

  The reason I am telling you this is not because there is something you could
  do to change things. There is nothing you can do either for me or to me. No,
  the reason I am telling you is because the anticipation of wondering what
  will happen is at least as bad as the act itself. You proved that to me
  when you
  put me through the anguish of worrying about Sue. Basically the only option
  available is to leave the poker world forever. Ply your trade elsewhere.
  Suicide wouldn’t be a bad option either. If you do that I will promise to
  stop
  badmouthing you.

Now the savvy among you may be wondering one thing. Why did I bold the last sentence? Well, let’s look at a report regarding a sad occurence from Sunday the previous.

• Poker Player Brandi Hawbaker is dead. Brandi Hawbaker, aka Brandi Rose, aka Naami Dea, took her own life this past weekend according to numerous sources. Hawbaker was just 26 years old at the time of her death.

Yep. She committed suicide.

Probably.

…

(What?)

BETTER STUFF COMING. HAVE TO SHOWER.