Now I make an effort to be zen about life and the way things go. Sure, it does not always work and there are things that I am going to forever be hating. I’m human. But I’m able to deal with the unpopular in life very easily.
Like take my non-teaching OTHER JOB. I worked that today. Caught the Davidson-Kansas game (which saved Elvi Patterson in our highly unpopular bracket pool, but that’s neither here nor there). Why I am here is because of the Sports Talk Radio that rolled up on me after Tommy Tigue signed off.
Did you know Denny Hocking has a radio show? And it’s a National one! Normally, I would pay no mind to how a .654 Career OPS does his radio show business, but let’s be honest.
He makes Sean Salisbury sound trenchant and witty with his bon mots.
I know, right? I was surprised too. Granted, he has always been difficult to listen to because his voice reminded me of my 8th grade teacher in regards to the Environmental Sciences. That guy was a dick.
But tonight? Tonight forced my hand. Bad reception stuck me on the Fox Sports Radio feed. And I had to listen to Denny Hocking host a show with Rob Dibble.
But wait, it gets better.
You see, the dirty little secret in radio is that you have topics designed for action. An artful topic would have been something along the lines of “Having no cinderellas in the Final Four is the best thing that can happen for the NCAA Tournament.”
(See, because everybody would have been, “isn’t it awesome that Davidson went all the way to the Final Four?”)
Anyway, the massive brainpower that is team Hockble decided to go on a different tack. You see, Roy Williams was singing the praises of dear old Psycho T after he had a massive second half to take the Tar Heels to the Final Four. And being as Denny Hocking was a white middle infielder that couldn’t hit? He played at being offended.
“How can you say he’s the hardest worker EVER…that includes people like Michael Jordan!” Hocking would say in the 7:00 hour.
“That’s like comparing Ted Williams to a career minor leaguer!” Dibble would contribute in the 8:00 hour. Because, as we all know, comparing Ted Williams to Chris Coste is not even close to a straw man argument.
“I’m surprised Manny Acta didn’t say that Tyler Hansborough was the hardest worker I’ve ever seen!”- Hocking after Zimmerman hits a walk-off homer.
“Denny Hocking makes me want to hurt myself and others.” Me to Doug, the maintence guy. (I love you Doug!)
…
This is what is known as a catharsis. I will find a way to avoid having to deal with the mishagoes that is Denny Hocking and Rob Dibble.
But this is what will forever haunt me.
My birthday is April 2nd. Denny Hocking shares my birthday.
…this is something I cannot abide.
