Teaching today. That is all. If I am awake and the internet is good? I post more.
January 23, 2008
I am a child of the 80’s.
I grew up in the Apex of professional basketball. The sport was fun to watch and only good things came from watching it. My ugly jumper that never could drop for one. But that’s not why we’re here. Why are we here?
There’s a split among the Showtime Lakers!
You might have heard that Magic Johnson has been stumping for Hill Dog on the campaign trail. He told the story of how he hit a big shot on Opening Day of his rookie season to win the game in a recent South Carolina radio ad.
-
“I was so hyped. But the captain of my team said, ‘Take it easy rookie, it’s a long season, it’s a long road to the championship.’ He was right.”
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was that captain. And he did not take too kindly to his name being brought into this campaign fray. He feels that Obama is a capable senator, who has the ability to lead and organize.
Magic has to be stunned by this turn of events. He told Hillary he could bring in Riley and the rest of the Showtime Lakers. He has not brought in one Laker. James Worthy and Sam Perkins are endorsing John Edwards. Byron Scott has nothing to do with Presidential Politics. Even Sedale Threatt has decided to go his own way in this election.
In desperation, he turned to Paul Westhead. Suffice it to say that Paul Westhead was less than intrigued.
But there is good news! Magic Johnson did get one key endorsement!
THE MAGIC HOUR RIDES AGAIN PEOPLE! THE MAGIC HOUR…RIDES…A-GAIN!
January 22, 2008
WE HAVE BREAKING PUPPY BOWL 4 NEWS!!!!!!
As many are aware. Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl is the can’t miss event of the year!
We at The Grand National Championships have gotten word of probably the greatest halftime show that mankind will ever witness!
THE REUNION OF PAULA ABDUL WITH M.C. SKAT CAT!
According to our sources, who we bribed with squeaky toys and catnip;”Paula Abdul has agreed in principal to reunite with animated rapper M.C. Skat Cat during the Kitty Halftime Show of this year’s Puppy Bowl!”
M.C. Skat Cat could not be reached for comment but he did release a press release that states,”She dont’ like cigarettes. I LIKE TO SMOOOOKEE!”
When questioned about her preformance in the upcoming Kitty Half-time Show Paula Abdul said,”I like clouds that sparkle! Sometimes, I wear this to make it safe! Bratz movie! we all fly away just to escape the hounding of all.”
If you were curious…Yes, Paula will also be wearing a special costume.
This half-time show is gonna be so awesome it’s like my birthday and flag day rolled into one supreme burrito of greatness!
ELVI!
Seriously though?
Heath Ledger was pretty good at acting, even if he chose scripts badly.
That’s all I know and care to know about him.
Mainstream Media, go and beat the shit out of this tragedy.
Too Soon? Joke of the Day.
Heath Ledger headline:
Ledger gets his wish, knows how to quit life.
If you drink Bud Light after Super Bowl Sunday, you need to be shot into the sun.
Bud Light is going big in the Super Bowl. 7 ads. That’s 14 million plus in cash money. And while I would say good for them? There’s an issue.
In this ad space there is 83% of problem!
Yes, 6 ads feature one of the men most responsible for ruining comedy. A thief and a pederast of good humor. Someone who says otherwise is just a foul foul liar.
They are going long with…
Yeah. You need to be drinking the Champagne of beers right quick people. They respect your intelligence.
Three guarantees for your Oscar pool.
1. Juno will win one award. Best original screenplay.
2. No Country for Old Men will only win for sound editing and mixing.
3. Michael Clayton will be the big winner. It is the sort of middle of the road film that does not have the flaws that the elderly Academy voters just hate, like humor, or quality.
I propose this premise.
That if some second round speedburner running backs like Felix Jones (Yes, I know he’s probably in the precipice of round one), Steve Slaton, or a guy like Kevin Smith [Obligatory Snoogans reference] to start breaking great, the Packers would be dancing the dance of joy.
This is a team that needs three major things. An heir apparent cornerback, an heir apparent tackle, and an Edgar Bennett type in the backfield. And this is not to say that Ryan Grant is at fault nearly as much as Nick Collins, Favre, or Al Harris for the Super Bowl loss. The man is shiftier than an overactor in a spy movie.
But imagine a one two-punch of Grant-Rashard Mendenhall or Grant-Jonathan Stewart. That’s thunder and lightning. [Rookie running back] sets them up, and Grant cuts back for 60 yard gains of awesome power! This would be the greatest show on tundra.
But this Postulate is probably just spitballing. Aqib Talib is probably more likely. Not that I mind. This draft is filled to the brim at running back. And a Jacob Hester or a Matt Forte in a later round would do the job just fine.
Yeah, I guess it was just time for me to be a big dreaming dreamer.
(Still, a J.R. Stewrant backfield would be awesome!)
January 21, 2008
I think I figured out why Yesterdays loss hurt so much.
The Packers got outplayed. Plain and simple. The Giants just shut them down in the second half. It took a big return and a very fluky play for them to keep pace.
And they still could have won the game. That’s what gets me most of all.
The Giants gave them every opportunity to steal the win they thought they could just show up and get, and they couldn’t take it. Now comes Hick Hamlet Act VII. Now comes the fact that Aaron Rodgers showed he could play and we will have a 39 year old under center for the Packers. Sure, Brett Favre is what gives Wisconsin its identity. (our second biggest active celebrity? Tony Shaloub. Monk. Think about that.)
But what happens if the Packers are 1-5 and Favre has a ratio of 6 td’s to 9 interceptions? He’ll be 39. It can all disappear when you’re that age. No amount of Bowflex training can hold back the sands of time forever.
This is a very tenuous situation. The Packers could very well recoil into mediocrity like your New Orelans Saints. This could be the start of a several year window. It all depends on Favre and his ability (and his seeming inablity to go out gracefully.)
And it’s not to say that I don’t want Favre coming back next year, it’s just to say that the list of 39 year-old quarterbacks who can make plays is very limited.
(And even General Managers who consider themselves the smartest guys in the room won’t be able to find a graceful situation for an exit.)
Anyway, I’m teaching today. Back this afternoon with a postulate involving the NFL draft.
What? I already admitted my draft nerd status. And I promise this will be the last you hear about the NFL for a good spell.
We have more important things to worry about.
