By Andrew, The Grand National Championships.
The 1990′s were a time filled with cheating. Everybody was on Human Growth Hormone and Steroids and animal drugs. It was a halcyon time for baseball. Everybody loved the home runs, and nobody wanted to know the dirty secret.
After all, there were homers being hit. And don’t ladies dig the longball? I believe they do.
But alas, the secrets always emerge. And the great players of the era get left by the wayside. Players like Travis Fryman. Yes, Travis Fryman.
Travis Fryman deserves a shot at the Hall of Fame. Sure, I’ll give you a chance to stop laughing. Ready? Let’s do this.
Travis Fryman is the best third baseman of the 1990′s
Now I know you seem aghast by this comment, Matt Williams is not the best? Ken Caminiti? Hell, even Dean Palmer seems like he would be a better candidate. But get this, kid? They all cheated. Each and every last one of them.
Travis Fryman? Crisp and clean with no caffeine! Do you know how hard that is? You’re a hero to sports bars and children, and everyone else around you is cheating to be awesome and cool? I mean, who wouldn’t want to be Bobby Estaella or Adam Piatt? I know that a day as Adam Riggs or Jim Parque would be better than than twenty as me or my associate Mister Patterson.
But Travis Fryman is a brave man. He never cheated. He also played shortstop. And put it this way…
Travis Fryman was the best AL Shortstop of the 1990′s
You think Cal Ripken was the best? You are full of bunk. You think Jose Valentin rocked the party that rocked the party? The authorities have been alerted to the fact that you are a danger to yourself and others. Miguel Tejada? He’s a contender. Sure.
But wait! Miguel Tejada is a cheaterpants also. He cheated like Jose Canseco dared him to try the HGH, and he was all, well I will! And then he was all, this is awesome!
I MAN MERELY SEVEN MINUTES AWAY FROM BECOMING MORBO! AND I WILL DESTROY YOU PATHETIC HUMANS FOR ALL ETERNITY!
What did Travis Fryman have? He had Cecil Fielder eating his lunch for his first five seasons. That kept Fryman mean, but it also kept him lean. He was not able to have that protein to get his power above the 25 home run level.
But that’s not all the reasons why Travis Fryman is awesome and deserves a berth in the Hall of Fame. There is one more. It may sound pathetic. It may sound didatic.
But the fact is, it’s true. The truth shall set you free. And this truth shall put Travis Fryman into the Hall of Fame.
Travis Fryman played baseball with black, hispanic, and Asian peoples.
Put Travis Fryman on the 1920′s Tigers. Have him and Charlie Gerhinger be the great grandparents of Alan Trammell and Lou Whitaker. Have him beat the shit out of Ty Cobb for making fun of his Jewish heritage. After which he would destroy the Cardinals in the World Series. He would punch out Ducky Medwick like he was Glass Joe. Also, he would engage in Paul and Dizzy Dean ownership. That would make him a Hall of Famer, easily.
In closing, when you see Travis Fryman on your Hall of Fame Ballot, vote YES! YES I SAY!
This post was inspired by B at The Dugout. Blame him if it does not satisfy. 499. 500.