Dear Tommy Tuberville.
Dude. No. Step away from Frank Broyles. You do not want to be doing this. Arkansas is a bad place for you.
How do I know? I just do. You have to trust me about this. Arkansas is a whole other breed of sports fan. They will eat you alive. If you make one of their own unhappy?
But I’m one of their own? You’re thinking to yourself. No. Not if you do this. You do this and you are the latest victim in an effort to get back to the days when Darrell Royal was the only thing that stood between the Razorbacks and the National Championship.
I know they don’t respect you at Auburn. I know they think they can get a Bobby Petrino to be their golden god and it will all be better. I mean, they deserve to win every game ever, right? Yeah, you’re looking for a good opportunity to stick it in the pee hole of the Auburn board of trustees.
Arkansas is not the answer. It will lead you away from the SEC West that you know and love. You know that patience is a virtue. You know that a certain coach of a certain powerhouse team will have an opportunity to go home, so to speak, and get to play God at an easier level.
And if you’re all “But LSU would never hire me. I took out Glenn Dorsey.” I have two things to say.
1) All will be forgiven if the price is right.
2) Dream jobs are for suckers.
Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.
Your pal,
Andrew
