Jesus called me today.

He did, and this time it wasn’t because I forgot to return,”The Cutting Edge” to blockbuster.

Best Movie EVER!

But yea, Jesus hit me up on my celly cell. Really nice guy, we got to talking and he’s not that happy. He wanted me to tell the Colorado Rockies some things.

1. Don’t trade-mark,”Rocktober!”

Jesus told me that for kicks he likes to dj at a classic rock station. If the Rockies trademarked “Rocktober” then Jesus wouldn’t have a catchphrase in the fall. Besides, we all know that Jesus like to kick loose with some Foghat and take a SLOW RIDE!!

2. Evangelical Christians should never be smug about oppression.

Jesus was pretty hopping mad about how smug and condescending the Rockies are about other religions. To quote Rockies CEO Charlie Monfrot:

“I don’t want to offend anyone, but I think character-wise we’re stronger than anyone in baseball. Christians, and what they’ve endured, are some of the strongest people in baseball. I believe God sends signs, and we’re seeing those.”

It really takes balls to say that. Hall of Famer Sandy Koufax would definetly like to speak to Monfrot about character and so would hall of famer Rod Carew

Thankfully, there is someone who can ease the pain of Jesus….

Kevin Youkilis: Doing it for the Torah!

Or….

Jews for Jesus! LOL!

Even though I can’t stand Red Sox fans I will support them. That’s what Jesus would do anyway.

ELVI!