The Grand National Championships

September 11, 2007

Can A Brother Be A Saviour? Otherwise known as,”Can I Borrow A Record?”

Major League Baseball has been struggling lately.  With the rampant allegations of steroids and HGH use, the whole Barry Bonds can of worms, and of course the St. Louis Cardinals (take your pick on which drunk you want to be angry at Tony LaRussa or Josh Hancock!)  Baseball needed a saviour, a man who could get sportswriters to write in an orgasmic fervor that only coke or Zeus could equal.

Along came a man,  A former pitcher now outfielder who could suddenly hit some dingers. Was this the second coming of Babe Ruth?  NO! Ankiel enjoyed HGH with his cheerios. 

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Ankiel: Dude, I SOOOO SUCK!!

As this story unfolded America began to realize that baseball is/was full of cheaters and that Nancy Reagan was wrong.  Winners were using drugs! 

There is a man who can save baseball.  We at ” The Grand National Championships” have been harping on how great this man is for quite a long time.  The shameful secret is that sportswriters won’t even glorify the amazing things and records this man has accomplished so far this season.  Who is this wizard of the diamond who has enthralled Andrew and I for so long you ask?  GAZE UPON SALVATION!

grandy is dandy

Curtis “100 Grand” Granderson:  I’m Awesome! LOL!

Curtis Granderson is the best player that baseball won’t talk about.  Sure, you’ve heard all about A-Rod and how he’s so great at hitting home runs.  You know  that Rick Ankiel hit homers and was a good then terrible pitcher who reminded you of,”The Natural”  Then you heard that Ankiel bought HGH.  Do you know who’s leading baseball in triples?  Answer: Curtis Granderson!  Hey, do you know how many baseball players have hit at least 20 homers, 20 triples, 20 doubles and 20 stolen bases in a single season?  Answer: 3!  I’ll give you the names of two.  One is legendary hall of famer Willie Mays and another is 100 GRAND!

As I end this lovefest for Curtis Granderson, I will say that I respect the hell out him and that he plays the game the way it should always be played.  Also, as a guy who’s going back to college, I have to admit that he’s awesome in the schooling as well.  Curtis has 2 degrees.  How many does Rick “Cheater” Ankiel have?  Answer: 0!

Keep your head high and stay gold Curtis!

ELVI!

2 Comments »

  1. [...] I mean, look at how many African-American College Quarterbacks have been compared to Antwaan Randle El in record numbers (meaning they best switch positions if they want a shot in the league). Look at how a player like Scott Fletcher was able to carve out a career on the basis of being scrappy, while a player like Rickie Weeks makes every effort to play through pain and gets nothing but shit. Look at how Curtis Granderson got ignored while Rick Ankiel got praised.   [...]

    Pingback by Donovan McNabb is Right. « The Grand National Championships — September 19, 2007 @ 1:26 pm |Reply

  2. “Curtis Granderson got ignored while Rick Ankiel got praised”.

    Oh come on now. Boo Hoo. What’s the big deal anyway. Of course Granderson got the praise. Why shouldn’t he?

    Bill

    Comment by Bill Younger — December 12, 2007 @ 7:02 pm |Reply


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