Lead singer of Gwar, Oderus Urungus has been doing an advice column.
Here’s some highlights!
” I’ve been with the same girl since high school. We are in college now and love each other very much. The problem is that over the years things have become routine and boring in bed. What would you suggest I do to spice things up in our sex lives?
Legolas
Oderus: I would introduce some kind of animal lover into the mix. A dog, perhaps. A dead dog. Force your girlfriend to have sex with a dead dog and she will appreciate you a lot more. I am a big fan of dead dogs. I actually have one on tour with me that I mount every night in front of all these people, Unfortunately I just found out that my dog is gay. I have a dead, gay dog for a girlfriend. I would even be willing to lend him my dead dog, if that’s what it’s going to take to get a little more spice into his relationship. It’s got a heavy coat of lacquer on it, so it’s not in danger of rotting any time soon. Though I have left the fuck-hole pretty much wide open. Yeah, sleep with a dead dog, molest it and keep that dog in there. Take it out to dinner. I think things will be wonderful.”
Yea, it’s pretty graphic but it’s also more interesting than Dear Abby.
Elvi!
