We start the Elite 8 with a superstar annoyance battle. Chris Berman. Woody Paige. It’s the match-up of Norby Williamson’s Dreams. It’s…
Who’s Hack? Gammons Reigonal Finals (1) Chris Berman v. (3) Woody Paige
Chris Berman
How he got here: A game effort from Jim Rome fell short. 46-40.
Why he beats Woody Paige: Because he’s fat. He’s loud. His catchphrases suck. And he was in The Longest Yard remake. That movie hurt my soul. Sandler made me cry. He picks his nose and eats it. I’m not with leather either.
Why he loses: Because as Deadspin will show you presently. The man is a class act with the ladies. Classy ladies.
Woody Paige
How he got here: Slapped Lee Corso in the butt, metaphorically. 50-16.
Why he beats Chris Berman: Because Chris Berman keeps his hands to himself. Also, Chris Berman would never deign to lower himself to be on a show with Jay Mariotti or Skip Bayless. Doing that just makes you suck major ass.
Why he loses: Because as the photo shows, Chris Berman is a fan of ladies with male features. That’s stupid. Also, Woody Paige does not name drop. Though in fairness, my five is better than his.
Okay. Who will be the first to cut down the nets and make the final four?
HEY HO! LET US GO!
UPDATE: Considering the page views we have, a 31 to 3 start is a little fishy. There are 50 some odd votes in some polls about to close. So, guys, ladies. Cool it.
[...] (1) Chris Berman vs. (3) Woody Paige [...]
Pingback by Who’s Hack? The Brackets! « The Grand National Championships — July 23, 2007 @ 8:08 pm |
[...] is a match-up we’ve been waiting to see. The winner gets the Gammons Division. But we’ll know when [...]
Pingback by Who’s Hack? Olbermann Regional Final (1) Jay Mariotti vs. (2) Dick Vitale « The Grand National Championships — July 24, 2007 @ 11:20 pm |
[...] Chris Berman 66 Woody Paige 55 [...]
Pingback by Who’s Hack? Regional Final Scoreboard Update! « The Grand National Championships — July 27, 2007 @ 1:57 am |