The Green Bay Packers Select: James Jones (WR-San Jose State)

This is a pick that I’m of two minds about.

On the one hand, he’s never going to be a vertical threat, and the Packers definitely need one of those. And if you’re asking about value, it’s still over at the Brandon Jackson party. Also, he’s slotting in as the #4 receiver.

But it’s a good route runner with great concentration. He does have sufficient hops to be deadly in the red zone. And he’s absolutely fearless. I mean, you give him time to develop, and he could be Ed McCaffrey.

Too high-hoped? It’s a Packer reciever drafted in the third round. Come on. You know Packer history. He just might get there.

Though he’s not there yet. B-

The Green Bay Packers Select Brandon Jackson (RB-Nebraska)

Looky looky, my blog has readers now, and my head had to go and get big and I don’t hop on the web to give them my opinions on the other three picks. I am to be booed as if I were Kevin Kolb!

Anyway, the trade down was one of the few things I projected right. And as replacements for Ahman Green at the end of the second round go, you could hardly do better than Brandon Jackson. Jackson has lots of positives (minimal wear, solid speed, good hands, delivers a blow to the defender.)  And you can look at the Nebraska running back situation in two ways. One, he just wasn’t that much better than his competition or he just needed consistent reps to gain confidence and as his run through the end of the Cornhusker season shows, he could be great.

And every magazine’s all about his zone blocking mad run skills. That’s another big plus.

And for Ted, after drafting the NFL’s Marcus Haislip, this pick was a nice little rally for him.

The Green Bay Packers Select: Justin Harrell (DT-Tennessee)

Well? This is a bit of a curveball. Everybody was expecting skill position dance party. (Meacham, Bowe, Tight End Greg Olsen) Or at the very least, going secondary (Nelson, Hall, or maybe even an Aaron Ross).

However, Jusin Harrell…not excatly a pick on the My Homer radar, however, he could be somebody who makes the linebacking core better.

He’s a tough space eater. He’s a great run-stuffer. But he’s not fast-twitch. He has injury problems.

He’s not going to be an awful pro. However, is he going to be a better player than Corey Williams? No. I really don’t think so.

Dwayne Bowe. Robert Meacham. Greg Olsen. Reggie Nelson. Leon Hall. They all would’ve been better fits.

Not a happy man with this one.

Well, the Ingmar Bergman’s off the board.

With Marshawn Lynch gone, who do the Packers select?

Leon Hall and Darrelle Revis are availaible. The Packers do have elderly cornerbacks in the football sense. And it looks like one would be available at 16.

However, if the Randy Moss rumor doesn’t happen, the Packers are probably salivating at the possiblity of Dwayne Bowe. He would be a vertical threat that the Packers so desperately need.

However, the trading down possibilty has expanded exponentially. 16 guarantees a Brady Quinn. 16 could also guarantee a Reggie Nelson. 16 could also guarantee an Alan Branch or another receiver that’seven sexier than Dwayne Bowe.

My Pick: Ted Thompson is furiously working the phones to see if he can’t get more picks.

Brady Quinn…The New Aaron Rodgers.

Miami really shouldn’t have listened to the Onion Article. Ted Ginn can only run the 9 and the slant.

And Brady Quinn’s got one hell of a long wait ahead of him.

Dallas at 22? A team in round 2 trying to slide back in? Of course, if he goes at 24, he won’t be considered a bust.

UPDATE: Everybody who’s admitted to tripping the light fantastic was drafted ahead of Quinn.

Maybe if he smoked up he would’ve gone in the top 5. 

UPDATE II: Brady Quinn goes 22 to Clevleand via Dallas. For a 3 and next years #1. Jerry Jones stole the show.

Jerry Jones stole the show? Really?

UPDATE III: It was a two? Holy shit. What a fucking steal.

Pure simple, mockery…(do you feel a draft II?)

Because get this, outside of Oakland not taking a lineman to help with that whole 5 sacks a game problem that they had last year, and Cleveland dumbly taking the Notre Dame QB, nothing would be completely indefensible.

1) Oakland JaMarcus Russell QB-LSU

And even here, though I said the Raiders biggest problem is on the Offensive Line, a Joe Staley or Ryan Kalil could slip out of Round 1. And as John Madden once said, when you have Aaron Brooks as your starting quarterback, you kinda suck. And even with the inherent risk, JaMarcus does have one of those upsides that could go to a pre-Madden Culpepper or McNabb level.

2) Detroit Calvin Johnson WR-Georgia Tech

You may laugh at the delicious irony of the Lions drafting a receiver. But Calvin Johnson’s talent level is so high, he could heal the lame and make the blind see just on a slant pattern alone. He is the Bill Brasky of this draft. After being drafted, he will crush a parked car and make it say Calvin Johnson.

And Mike Furrey is still the Lions #2 Receiver. So, yeah, best player available that fits a need. Suck it, Lions fan.

3)  Cleveland Brady Quinn QB-Norte Dame

He is not the quarterback you are looking for. He is a gayer version of Kerry Collins. His arm fires deep rockets, but you hit him once, and all he’ll want to do is go clubbing with Alex Rodriguez. In fairness, Cleveland does have a decent line, but the staph infections have knocked down the last two big free agent signings.

4) Tampa Bay Gaines Adams DE-Clemson

Freakish athleticism with a great motor. He singlehandedly led Clemson to beat Wake Forest last season. He is raw and kind of skinny, but for a team with a defense best described as elderly, Adams is a nice spot of elixir.

5) Arizona Joe Thomas T-Wisconsin

The O-Line was a joke last year. A nightmarish Carlos Mencia bug-eyed stereotype joke that he stole to get three seasons of low quality television joke. The agile and mobile Joe Thomas should be a perfect fit to rectify that. 

6) Washington Amobi Okoye DT-Louisville

Hey, did you hear he’s 20? No? Well, he is. So he could be a monster in a couple of years. And the Redskins do need a defensive lineman to assist a team that could not stop the run. Also, Alan Branch is a pussy with broken legs. Nigeria #1? Yes!

7) Minnesota Jamaal Anderson DE-Arkansas

Ted Ginn is a bit of a reach. Levi Brown is also a bit of a reach. They’re happy at running back. Erasmus James is brittle. Jamaal Anderson is the play here. Logically.

8. Atlanta LaRon Landry S-LSU

They need a good defender in the centerfield. LaRon’s is the perfect fit. He’s intelligent, fast, and he can cover. He’s a little small, but that’s nitpickery. He’s a readymade stud, Ed Reed style.

9) Miami Levi Brown OT-Penn State

Not the player they want. (They are homosexual for Quinn). Paul Posluzny’s a reach here. Lawrence Timmons is an option, but they need offensive line depth as well. Levi Brown’s clocking in as the #2 O-Lineman on most draft boards. Thus, putting pen to paper, the Lion goes to Miami. 

10) Houston Adrian Peterson RB-Oklahoma

You’re the Houston Texans. Last year you passed on the next Gale Sayers and a local boy National Championship winner Quarterback. This year, you have the next Eric Dickerson, and he’s a Texan to boot! Could they really be dumb enough to pass on him…

10) Houston Darrelle Revis CB-Pittsburgh

Green + Lundy with a dash of Dayne and a need for a corner gives Houston this fast riser up the draft charts. And yes, if the Texans would have not only a right, but a duty to boo this pick.

11) San Fransisco Lawrence Timmons OLB-Florida State

This may just be a point of personal preference, but I’d figure Mike Nolan would want himself a guy with the potential to be scary across from Manny Lawson at linebacker because Alan Branch is still a broken-legged pussy.

I know they signed Tully Banta-Cain. I just don’t care.

12) Buffalo Adrian Peterson RB-Oklahoma 

They could use a stud defensive lineman. They could use a Patrick Willis. They could a Leon Hall or a Daymeion Hughes. But Adrian Peterson’s a stud. He’s instant impact. The Bills lose McGahee, Adrian Peterson would make everything feel better.

13) St. Louis Alan Branch DT-Michigan

Yes, I’ve called him a broken-legged pussy, but Jimmy Kennedy is not robusto as a nose tackle. And Alan Branch has the two gap thing down cold. (But maybe I just flipped a coin between him and Adam Carriker, and Alan won.)

14) Carolina Patrick Willis MLB-Ole Miss

The winners of Buffalo having Adrian peterson fall to them. Patrick Willis fills the Middle Linebacker need that the Panthers so desperately have. He’s not a knock your socks off superstud, but he’s gritty, gutty, and above average in every respect.

15) Pittsburgh Paul Posluzny OLB-Penn State

Another perfect fit. A smaller A.J. Hawk, Posluzny has great instincts and did not lose one step from his junior season post-injury. Added bonus? Poslunzy’s nowhere near as crazy as Joey Porter.

16) Green Bay Marshawn Lynch RB-Cal

This pick gives me the whole existenstial angst thing. The Packers do need a runner, but this runner? He never had a full season as the man. He has a bad back. But the man’s physically gifted. He could be spec-fucking-tacular. In fact, one way or the other. He will be.

17) Jacksonville Reggie Nelson S-Florida

Ted Ginn would have come off the board if the Jaguars weren’t so flinchy about picking a receiver. But Nelson’s more than a mere consolation prize. He’s a readymade Bob Sanders type. He will replace Deon Grant with style and aplomb.

18) Cincinnatti Leon Hall-CB Michigan

Another best player that fits a need. He’s a smooth, stylish, smashmouth cornerback. He is very comprable to Al Harris, and he would be able to put the Bengals in great shape at the corners for years to come.

19) Tennessee Ted Ginn Jr. WR-Ohio State

Drew Bennett is gone. David Givens has an uncertain future. However, Ted Ginn is a great remedy. Elusive. Speedy. He will be able to catch many bombs from Vince Young before Young gets his ass hurt.

20) NY Giants Aaron Ross CB-Texas

They need a playmaking cornerback. They like to blitz, and Ross would allow them to blitz with less fear of putting a cornerback out on an island. They could also go receiver. But I’m tired, and Ross won the coin toss.

21) Denver Adam Carriker DE Nebraska

He’s a big speedy, rawboned defensive end, and considering that there’s nobody really across from Elvis Dumervil to play that other D-End slot, the Broncos should really get hyped up for Carriker.

22) Dallas Ben Grubbs G Auburn

Sure, there are good receivers available. But this is a draft where they could pick up a good one Round 2. A guard is a more pressing need. Grubbs is smart, versatile, and gutsy. He’ll become a vital cog.

23) Kansas City Dwayne Bowe WR-LSU

Kansas City has been Eddie Kennison and junk for forever it seems. Bowe has a size-speed ratio and hands reminiscent of an Andre Johnson. And for whomever totes the rock in K.C., Bowe would help keep 8 defenders out of the box.

24) New England Michael Griffin S-Texas

He’s the heir apparent to Harrison. He has great size and athleticism. His instincts are rusty, but he will have some time to learn.

25) NY Jets Greg Olson TE-Miami (Fla.)

This really doesn’t fill a super need for the J-E-T-S. It will likely get booed. But what they need doesn’t fit where they draft, and is Greg Olsen the best player available? Signs point to yes.

26) Philadelphia Charles Johnson DE-Georgia

Kearse was hurt last year. Howard kind of sucks. McDougle really sucks. A powerful defensive end such as Charles Johnson would help the issue. Simple, really.

27) New Orelans Daymeion Hughes CB-Cal

Best player, biggest position of need, and I’m getting tired, so this is all you need to know.

28) New England Jarvis Moss DE-Florida

3-4 outside linebacker depth to replace Tully Banta-Cain 

29) Baltimore Joe Staley OT-Central Michigan

He will replace Tony Pashos. With aplomb even.

30) San Diego Robert Meacham WR-Tennessee

Because Antonio Gates and Phillip Rivers need help, and Meacham has superb upside.

31) Chicago Dwyane Jarrett WR-USC

Sure, he’s questionable with the speed. However, he can catch whatever dragons Rex Grossman will unleash.

32) Indianapolis  Jon Beason OLB-Miami (Fla.)

Speedy cover two outside linebacker. They need some help there. Beason will do that.

Yes. Done.

Mock drafts are yaaaaawn-inducing to type. Stupid. Remind me not to do these with explanations. Explaining yourself hurts.

Hey, do you feel a draft?

Yes, it’s the NFL Draft. And rested and refreshed enough to take on things after the tragedy at Va. Tech, I’m going to make two posts. One about my beloved Green Bay Packers and who they may/should, and would never draft.

The other? A snarky NFL Mock Draft about who teams should pick, and who they eventually would.

Feel that? That’s called anticipation, baby…

Anyway, seeing as this is tagged with the boring homerism part, we will go into…

The Green Bay Packer Draft Analysis…

Round 1-Pick 16

Likely Pick: Marshawn Lynch RB-Cal.

I am not completely thrilled with this pick. Not just because of the rumored back and character injuries plaguing him, but because unlike those whom would compare him with Clinton Portis and Shaun Alexander his upside is nowhere near that halcyon. His upside reminds me of Robert Smith (sublimely talented, but it was as if he wagered that he would retire if he ever played a full season). In fact, right now, the name I would compare him to? Michael Bennett.

I am half hoping Buffalo drafts him.

Now there is a blurb that got some play that this pick would be packaged to Kansas City with a 4, for Larry Johnson. Odds of that happening? 10%

Other Possibilites: Dwayne Bowe WR-LSU; Ted Ginn WR-Ohio St.; Leon Hall CB-Michigan; Reggie Nelson; S-Florida.

Round 2-Pick 47

Marcus McCauley CB-Fresno State

An intriguing talent. Not a receiver, but if you’re looking best player available that fits a need, the size-speed fluidity of McCauley is a great fit for Green Bay. He’s admittedly a little raw, however, as a cornerback he has time to learn in the nickel.

However, Ted Thompson likes to deal down for more picks, and if I was a betting man, I would see a deal down to get like a 5 and take a guy like Craig Davis from LSU or Ben Patrick from Delaware. 

Other Possibilities: Anthony Gonzalez WR-Ohio St.; Anthony Pittman RB-Ohio St.; Kenneth Darby RB-Alabama; Brandon Jackson RB-Nebraska.

Round 3-Pick 78

Likely Pick: Flip a coin between Jacoby Jones WR-Lane or David Clowney WR-Virginia Tech.

Now here we go into the premise that they did not exactly go RB-WR as expected for the first two rounds. Of course, if the other rumor is true and Dr. Doom comes to Green Bay to catch passes from our Mister Fantastic, this selection is moot, however, it hasn’t, and Jacoby Jones is a great return man with raw vertical receiving skills. David Clowney? A tougher Todd Pinkston. Both would be end of the day steals that rock the body.

(However, if the Dr. Doom rumor proves true, and Brett Favre says so. Then I can almost guarantee a safety goes off the board here. My head says Josh Gattis and his skill set. My heart says Sabby Piscitelli and his size and rockin’ name.)

Other Possibilities: Matt Spaeth TE-Minnesota, Ben Patrick TE Delaware (Maybe mid-3rd is the upside enough), Eric “PacMan” Wright CB-UNLV, Kenny Irons CB-Auburn, John Wendling S-Wyoming, Aaron Rouse S-Virginia Tech, Kevin Payne LA-Monroe, Eric Weddle S-Utah, DaShon Goldson S-Washington.  

DAY TWO BULLETPOINTS

• To predict by round and pick makes no sense, Day 2 is a super crapshoot. But with at least 6 picks, here’s what to watch for…
• An offensive lineman will be taken. Tackle is most likely. My guess is Elliott Vallejo UC-Davis. Second place? Mike Jones! Who? G-Iowa.
• A quarterback will also come off the board. My dream is for that to be the awesomely named dude from Hampton, Princeton Sheppard. But my real guess? Jeff Rowe-QB Nevada.
• A Tight End. 4th or 5th round. Scott Chandler TE-Iowa or Johnny Harline TE-BYU
• And a pass rusher skill set amongst the best players available.

Now, while I’d love for the Packers to decide to go all-in on Favre’s 6th last year. I do think the pieces are in place to develop another stylin’ run from this draft. Outside of the skill positions, they don’t really need to develop an instant starter.

A B/B+ Draft from Ted Thompson? That’s all we want. 

It Puts the Windbag in the Basket!

Racism is clearly something that needs to be talked about.

But here is a list of people I don’t want to discuss it with.

1) Don Imus

2) Al Sharpton. Lining his pockets with the money of the poor African-American.

3) Les Moonves

4) The Head of MSNBC

5) Keith Olbermann.

6) Joe Scarborough.

7) Robert Johnson, head of Black Entertainment Television (who really should take a look in the mirror, his hippety hop music videos perpetuate bad stereotypes) 

8…) Fox News. Republicans aren’t good at frank complex discussions of anything.

9) Jesse Jackson. Nothing’s been heard from him about the Duke Rape Case, either.

10) Stuart Scott (“Ho’s a term of endearment?”)

My eyes are bleeding…I’m going to go now. Bye.

 UPDATE #1: Jason Whitlock gets it right on this matter…

The RNC’s going to give me Lots of Money and Everything’s gonna be Alright

So, in 2000, you looked like you had really uninspiring choices for President. For the Democrats, you had robo-Nerd Al Gore. For the Republicans, you had George Bush Jr., who at that point just looked really fucking stupid. (And he reciprocated that feeling.)  And for the hippies, you had mother figure to the corporate world Ralph Nader.

Uninspiring was an understatement. The Republican candidates were your Orrin Hatches and your Gary Bauers. Bill Bradley challenged Gore for the Dems. It was an election that needed a shot in the arm, a kick in the ass, and a man of the people. Enter war hero and Arizona Senator John McCain.

He was a straight-shooter. He was a maverick. He didn’t care about party politics. And that sort of Kool-Aid tasted delicious.

But as Kool-Aid is awesome and refreshing on first sip. It’s ultimately proven insubstansial.

And by insubstansial, I mean the racial slurs are much like the silt left in the bottom of the pitcher.

That’s not to say that I don’t know the history, and that’s not to say that I’m not willing to give a little leeway to someone who suffered so much. That’s only to say that the “gook” references were a little hint that there was something more to John Wayne McCain. And after 9/11, the real McCain emerged from the bowels…and he was as Conservative as the day is long.

Now granted, where McCain has gone in the last seven years has been and will be covered by more engaged readers of the political blogosphere, however, the debacle that was McCain’s April Fools walk will leave me with 3 Final Points.

1) The Straight Talk Express McCain would want to go 12 rounds with the NeoCon whore McCain about the whole Petraeus going around Iraq in an unarmored humvee lie that he tried to perpetuate.

2) The friends he went with on the little walk, where 21 workers were murdered the next day. (My birthday…thanks insurgents, awesome gift!) Lindsay Graham and Mike Pence, are both solid right wing Republicans, despite some putting Graham in the moderate boat. In fact Pence, who really insulted his home state by making the comparison of a Baghdad marketplace with an Indiana summer, has been given several perfect scores by the American Conservative Union.

3) His main plank on the old campaign platform? Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Three out of Four Americans who hate the war, we’re gonna win this thing! So, my political stunt that cost you 1000 dollars a step went bad! Iraq’s still good! And here’s Lindsay Graham to tell you about the deals that you’re gonna get when we win this thing!

All in all, if John McCain was any less of a Maverick, he’d be Mel Gibson.

The lesson? If the Mainstream Media talks up a candidate as if they were such a rebel, then run away from them as fast as you can. They will steal your soul with their shapeshifting.

Dwight Schrute is a Noble Soul!

Comparing his comedic shenanigans with one Colin Cowherd is a compliment, and anyone who compares the two is only tying up a hero. “Like Hiro from Heroes.” with a taint. “last Thursday’s show, I said something dumb about a sports internet site. Ill-considered, shouldn’t have done it. Certainly sorry and it won’t happen again. Best of luck to the guys who own the site, who we don’t know, but wish well.”

Come on, do you think Colin Cowherd would 1) Cover for another employee’s mistakes? 2) Hug the man who pranked him on a nigh weekly basis when he quit his job? 3) Assist the sensei at a local dojo?

No. This is why the KSK Gay Mafia is wrong. Fuckers.